46 on 4/6

Today is my 46th birthday! And it's April 6th (4/6)!

It's funny. I do look forward to my birthday each year. But I also am one of those people who often gets that feeling like, "what have I really accomplished so far?" So birthdays often bring mixed emotions.

But as I get older, I find myself focusing more on process than product, more on the person I am always striving to become than on the person who has done _____ on his resume. 

For a long time I measured my sense of worth by my perception of what I thought other people thought of me. And while I am not going to pretend that that doesn't matter to me, as I get older I am more interested in whether I feel like I have grown in the past year, and whether I feel like I am on a path of growth for the coming year. Because it's not about how far you have come, but about where your journey will take you next.

I find myself grateful for the people in my life. I am blessed with the most loving and supportive family. I am married to my best friend. And my biggest pride in life is not my resume, but my 3 amazing children.

So maybe I'm feeling a little sentimental. But cut me some slack. It's my birthday! And I'm having surgery tomorrow which makes me reflective. Here are a few things I have learned along the way so far. I can't wait to continue learning even more:

1) Appreciate the people in your life. Don't take them for granted. Tell them what they mean to you.

2) Don't stress over the things that don't really matter. Do your Hishtadlut (effort and preparation) and leave the rest to Hashem.

3) Be kind to others. When you walk into a room don't focus on where you will feel most comfortable. Look for where you can make others feel good.

4) Stay humble. It's better to shine a spotlight on others than on yourself. The best feeling in the world is when you help someone else see their own value and discover their signature strengths.

5) Be Curious. Always look to learn new things. Read, read, and read some more. Every few years I discover areas that I never realized were so fascinating. This world is incredible and all we have to do is open our eyes.

6) It's ok to recharge with alone time. I find people really interesting. I believe that you can talk to any person on planet earth and find something fascinating and meaningful about their lives. But I also know that sometimes I need to refuel by being alone. That's ok.

7) Look beneath the surface. There's almost always something deeper than what you see. For example, we are all walking around with certain worries, anxieties, or pains that are invisible to others. When you really look and listen you can connect with other people on a deeper level.

8) Be Creative. It's so much fun to create. You don't have to be a great artist to be creative. All it requires is the willingness to think out of the box, use your imagination, and consider new possibilities.

9) Try to see others' perspectives. I'm writing my dissertation on this topic. Almost all conflicts melt away if we learn how to look for and respect other perspectives than our own, even if we disagree with them. This is perhaps the most important skill we can learn and we can teach our children.

10) Always feel God's presence in your life. Hashem is inside each and every one of us, in our Neshama (soul). He is with us when we feel joy or sadness, worry or gratitude, anger or love. He is with us when we feel at our best and at our lowest. He is with us when things are clear and when they are cloudy. He is with us when we feel close to Him and when we do not. We are never alone, and He never gives up on us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and never stops believing in us. Nothing can ever get in the way of God's love for us.

Anyway, I could probably keep going. But this list was written quickly, off the top of my head. I wonder how I will feel when I look back at it later. Will I feel like I missed some important things? No doubt. But this is where my head is at on  this 4/6/22 as I turn 46. Thank you to my parents for bringing me into this world and raising me the right way. And thank you to Hashem for bringing me to this point. I pray for many more years of health, happiness, and growth, as I continue on my life journey of becoming the person I am meant to be.