For lots of people the 1st thing they think of when thinking about Houston is NASA. How many movies include the line, "Houston, we have a problem?" You can even go to the Johnson Space Center and visit the original Mission Control where they oversaw the Moon landing.
Why am I thinking about Mission Control these days? Because, as we prepare to enter Yom Kippur the theme of Control is very much on my mind. You see, we go through life, month after month, believing that we are in control, that our life will follow a certain path and timeline. But then life happens, there are bumps in the road, and we are reminded that, as my mother taught me many years ago, "Man tracht un God lacht - man plans and God laughs."
About four months ago we suffered a massive flood here in Houston, the night after Shavuot. For so many of us it shook the foundations out from under our feet. Even the notion of going to sleep relaxed is called into question once you wake up in the middle of a flood. Every time it rains or the sky even gets dark my son is afraid that another flood may be coming. And if I'm honest, every once in a while, during a hard rain, I kind of feel that way too.
We have been really lucky. We were able to return to our rental house after just two months (many will not return to their old house at all), and although it has been exhausting starting over and setting up our home again, we feel blessed to have a roof over our heads. But as I said, one of the life lessons we will take from this crazy chapter of our lives is that we are not always in control. Things happen, both good and bad, that we would never have expected. All we can control is how we respond.
On one level, this keeps life exciting and unpredictable. But on the other, it can produce anxiety when you realize that all your hard work and future plans can change in an instant. So, while I am not suggesting that we should live completely in the moment and disregard planning for the future, I am saying that we should not take any day for granted, and that we should tell the people we love how much they mean to us every time we speak.
Personally, I tend to be drawn towards tasks or situations that I can control or predict, and tend to avoid tasks or situations that are beyond my control. This is because I only have so much time and energy in the day, so I'd like to maximize my chances of success. That is probably why I enjoy problem solving tasks such as puzzles and schedules, and why all my work is on Google Docs. The irony is that I had 3 large puzzles that were waiting to be framed that flooded, and that if Google decides to they could just erase all my documents in an instant (maybe I should back those up?).
So do we throw up our hands and just go with the flow (external locus of control) or do we do everything we can to try and control our lives (internal locus of control)?
On the one hand Chazal tell us that איו הדבר תלוי אלא בי - the matter depends completely upon me. But they also teach that הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים - everything is in the hands of Heaven except for the fear of Heaven.
I think it means that we should do the best we can with the cards we are dealt, put in our Hishtadlut (planning and efforts), and have Bitachon (trust) that everything that "happens to us" is for a reason and to help us grow.
As the saying goes from the 12 step programs:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Standing in shul this Yom Kippur, wondering what new surprises God has in store for us for the coming year, I will remind myself that my mission is not to always be in control. That even if life is not always predictable, I am always "under control," that is, under the control and care and support of a loving God. I will continue to do my best to make what I think are good life decisions, but will also try to be humble enough to remember that Hashem is with me through it all.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
A Flood of Support
I am not a person who likes to ask for or receive help. I guess maybe it makes me feel weak or in debt. In fact, the Hebrew word for thanks, Todah, shares the same root as the word Modeh, admit, because when we thank someone we are in a sense acknowledging that we needed them and couldn't do it alone.
I used to think it was funny that in Hebrew when someone thanks you the way to say you're welcome is B'vakasha, please. Why would we say please when we mean to say you're welcome? At 1st I thought it was a macho Israeli thing, as if to say, "What? You want to make a big deal and thank me! Please! It was a piece of cake for me! It was nothing!" But the truth is, what I think we are saying is something more like "please don't hesitate to ask again. It is a pleasure and honor to help you. You are welcome to ask any time."
Either way, I suspect I am not the only one who prefers not to be on the receiving end. In fact, our Rabbi here in Houston, Rabbi Barry Gelman, focused his Drasha this week on the fact that while often Rabbis try to convince others to give, this week he wanted to convince those in need to take. Not to be too prideful, or afraid to impose.
This past week has been like a movie. The toll the damage took, both physical and emotional, on so many people is hard to comprehend. But the most amazing and unbelievable thing about this week, even more than the flood of water that engulfed our neighborhood, has been the flood of support and love from so many, near and far, loved ones and strangers.
The community immediately mobilized into action, even before the waters had receded. People were rescued from their homes. Families were taken in with no check out date in sight. Meals have been coordinated non-stop in what remains of our shul. Friends have rolled up their sleeves to help salvage what could be salvaged, shlep out what could not, and pack and move everything that remained. Cars have been loaned. Play dates have been arranged. Snacks and meals for children whose homes flooded were provided for them at school. Strangers walk the streets with their children dragging red wagons full of water, coffee, and snacks. People keep bringing by cleaning supplies, boxes, and food. Our laundry has been taken to homes all over the community to wash and cleanse. Gift cards have been dropped off which, when opened, leave one in tears. Emails are going out daily with the latest helpful info. So many of our High School students were either affected directly by the flood or spending 6 hour shifts helping neighbors, that the school offered them a choice to either take their Final Exams this week or perform flood relief work instead (needless to say most chose the Chesed option). Yeshiva University has sent down students to help. Many people have spent hours working in the shul, which was completely flooded as well.
There were so many people coming into the house to help that at one point on Friday I left the house and went around to neighbors for an hour trying to help them a little bit (and in the process met some lovely people I had never met before). I just could not keep saying thank you and not giving back a little as well.
This is what community is all about. We support each other and are there for each other, in good times and bad. [We even celebrated a beautiful Bar Mitzva in shul this past Shabbat of a very special family whose son is coincidentally named Noah!] It is both inspiring and demanding at the same time. The more others are doing for us the more we want to pay it forward and give to others.
Which brings me, finally, to the Go Fund Me page started on our behalf by our family. I am in tears when I see how much money has been raised to help us get back on our feet. I figured maybe a few friends might contribute $18 each or something. I just cannot believe that so many people have given (149 at last count) and that they have been so generous. It is touching to see names of people from all parts of our past who still care about us and want to help. It's so thoughtful that many people have even shared the link on their page and written such kind things about us. It is amazing that some of the people giving we do not even know, but they are friends of friends who want to do a good deed.
There is still a big part of me that feels embarrassed to ask for or to accept support from others. I don't know if I will ever get past that. Please will always be a hard word for me. But I will never feel uncomfortable saying Thank You. It is incredibly humbling and uplifting to receive so much support from so many and there are not enough words to describe our gratitude. We will always remember this incredible feeling of security knowing that there are so many ready to catch us if we fall. And we will try to do the same for others in their times of need. I may not like asking B'vakasha, but I will absolutely say it in the sense of "please know that should you ever need a hand from us we will be honored to do what we can for you as you have done for us."
I used to think it was funny that in Hebrew when someone thanks you the way to say you're welcome is B'vakasha, please. Why would we say please when we mean to say you're welcome? At 1st I thought it was a macho Israeli thing, as if to say, "What? You want to make a big deal and thank me! Please! It was a piece of cake for me! It was nothing!" But the truth is, what I think we are saying is something more like "please don't hesitate to ask again. It is a pleasure and honor to help you. You are welcome to ask any time."
Either way, I suspect I am not the only one who prefers not to be on the receiving end. In fact, our Rabbi here in Houston, Rabbi Barry Gelman, focused his Drasha this week on the fact that while often Rabbis try to convince others to give, this week he wanted to convince those in need to take. Not to be too prideful, or afraid to impose.
This past week has been like a movie. The toll the damage took, both physical and emotional, on so many people is hard to comprehend. But the most amazing and unbelievable thing about this week, even more than the flood of water that engulfed our neighborhood, has been the flood of support and love from so many, near and far, loved ones and strangers.
The community immediately mobilized into action, even before the waters had receded. People were rescued from their homes. Families were taken in with no check out date in sight. Meals have been coordinated non-stop in what remains of our shul. Friends have rolled up their sleeves to help salvage what could be salvaged, shlep out what could not, and pack and move everything that remained. Cars have been loaned. Play dates have been arranged. Snacks and meals for children whose homes flooded were provided for them at school. Strangers walk the streets with their children dragging red wagons full of water, coffee, and snacks. People keep bringing by cleaning supplies, boxes, and food. Our laundry has been taken to homes all over the community to wash and cleanse. Gift cards have been dropped off which, when opened, leave one in tears. Emails are going out daily with the latest helpful info. So many of our High School students were either affected directly by the flood or spending 6 hour shifts helping neighbors, that the school offered them a choice to either take their Final Exams this week or perform flood relief work instead (needless to say most chose the Chesed option). Yeshiva University has sent down students to help. Many people have spent hours working in the shul, which was completely flooded as well.
There were so many people coming into the house to help that at one point on Friday I left the house and went around to neighbors for an hour trying to help them a little bit (and in the process met some lovely people I had never met before). I just could not keep saying thank you and not giving back a little as well.
This is what community is all about. We support each other and are there for each other, in good times and bad. [We even celebrated a beautiful Bar Mitzva in shul this past Shabbat of a very special family whose son is coincidentally named Noah!] It is both inspiring and demanding at the same time. The more others are doing for us the more we want to pay it forward and give to others.
Which brings me, finally, to the Go Fund Me page started on our behalf by our family. I am in tears when I see how much money has been raised to help us get back on our feet. I figured maybe a few friends might contribute $18 each or something. I just cannot believe that so many people have given (149 at last count) and that they have been so generous. It is touching to see names of people from all parts of our past who still care about us and want to help. It's so thoughtful that many people have even shared the link on their page and written such kind things about us. It is amazing that some of the people giving we do not even know, but they are friends of friends who want to do a good deed.
There is still a big part of me that feels embarrassed to ask for or to accept support from others. I don't know if I will ever get past that. Please will always be a hard word for me. But I will never feel uncomfortable saying Thank You. It is incredibly humbling and uplifting to receive so much support from so many and there are not enough words to describe our gratitude. We will always remember this incredible feeling of security knowing that there are so many ready to catch us if we fall. And we will try to do the same for others in their times of need. I may not like asking B'vakasha, but I will absolutely say it in the sense of "please know that should you ever need a hand from us we will be honored to do what we can for you as you have done for us."
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
A Water Logged Blog
It's hard to put into words what it's like to see your house and cars under water. We woke up at 3am hearing dripping noises and realized (if you call it that) that our entire one story house was covered in water up to our ankles. We jumped into panic mode, foolishly thinking that if we put towels by the door somehow that would help. And we then spent about an hour trying to save as much of our belongings as we could. Thank God, I was able to save all of my Sefarim in time. We also found important documents, medicine, and whatever else we could that was low down. Ironic though that the one night I put my iPad down on the floor before going to bed, instead of on my bedside table, there was a flood. Oh well. [Still, take a minute to think about which things are most important to you, and put them somewhere safe].
The kids were of course in shock, but we tried to reassure them that we were safe and just wanted to keep as much as we could from getting wet. The twins, half asleep, followed our directions to try to move their books onto their beds, but didn't think to leave the ones that were already under water where they were. Goodbye two more mattresses. Also, note to self: not a good idea to unplug a DVD player submerged in water unless getting electrocuted gives you a thrill.
After about an hour the water was up to our knees and we realized it was time to leave the house and go across the street to neighbors whose house is raised up. When we opened the back door water burst through. We got out as quickly as we could and started walking down the driveway. Before we even reached the street the water was up to my waist and I needed a neighbor to help me carry the twins across.
[A few days later on Shabbat, the rabbi invited every individual who wanted to come up, one at a time, a recite Birchat HaGomel, the blessing after one survives a dangerous situation. I chose not to recite it, because I never felt like it was life threatening. Friends had to literally swim through water that was up to their neck, pushing their kids in boats or boogie boards. However, maybe I am in denial about how scary this was and maybe I really should recite the bracha.]
Six families, wet, scared, and in shock, along with several frightened dogs as well, spent the next 10 hours or so trying to make sense of what was happening, figure out what had to be done next, and give each other Chizuk. Sitting on the front steps, watching the street you live on turn into a river is indescribable.
We have lived through hurricanes before in Florida, which in many ways are more frightening. But this flood was so unexpected. The flash flood warning signal on the TV that night for Harris County was ignored because 1) we see those often and it always just means a rainy night, and 2) Harris County is huge so you assume it means somewhere else. Anyway, long story (and long night) short, by sunrise there were a few people in boats trying to rescue neighbors in trouble, and by about 10am you could see the tip of the fire hydrant sticking out. Sitting with my son on the front steps we talked about how the dove must have felt after the flood, searching for an olive branch on which to rest.
When the water receded to just above the knees I walked back and was surprised to find the water in the house only up to my ankles. It was, of course, a mess. Things floated all over, garbage spilled, there was a strong sewage odor, and everything was soaked. Ironically, though the real house didn't do so well, the Lego house my kids had built stayed perfectly intact.
The next few days are a blur. Sweeping out the water. Throwing out furniture (beds, sofas, rugs, bookcases, dressers, china cabinets, desks) and anything else that got wet (clothes, toys, old baseball cards). Salvaging whatever we could by air drying with fans. Watching our front yard and entire street turn into a huge garbage dump.
At some point, I realized that there was more furniture outside than in, so I tried to cheer myself up by setting up this scene (notice the cheap rent sign):
Friends generously took us in to stay with them. In fact, our entire neighborhood is made up of families hosting others who have flooded. Someone else lent us a car (both of our cars had been paid off but are now goners). We took turns going to work while working on the house. We were so tired that each morning, when we woke up, our feet would still be hurting.
It took a couple of days until word started to get out about how big a disaster area this was, but when it did it went viral. I will write another post about all the great Chesed that is going on, which is truly incredible and inspiring. For now, however, we have finally reached the point where we can come up for air for a minute (which is why I finally have time and energy to blog). We have thrown most of our furniture and many of our belongings out. The rest we have placed in the kitchen, patio, or bathrooms. The walls of the house have been cut up to 2 feet and the wood floors all removed. Now we wait a few days for everything to dry out. We have many fans and dehumidifiers going.
There is not much else we can do for the house right now. Now the focus turns to dealing with Car Insurance, FEMA, and all that sort of stuff. Unfortunately, we did not know when signing up for our Renter's Insurance that that does not cover flooding, but we have not really had time to process the financial side of this. The bigger issue, even more important than money, or possessions, is the emotional well-being of our kids, each of whom has taken turns melting down in their own way. Aside from the trauma and fear, and the loss of special possessions, I think the biggest thing for them is the uncertainty. Which of my things survived? Where is everything? Where will we sleep/eat tonight? When can we move back home? Will this ever happen again?
Although this has been, and continues to be, very hard, we will get through this. I know this because 1) we have been through worse things in the past and gotten through them by supporting each other, and 2) we are in this together with our entire community who are all helping each other out. It will be a long recovery, both physically and emotionally, but we are resilient and our family and our community will pick ourselves up and start over. And the next time we wake up in that house, our feet won't hurt and we won't be stepping in water.
The kids were of course in shock, but we tried to reassure them that we were safe and just wanted to keep as much as we could from getting wet. The twins, half asleep, followed our directions to try to move their books onto their beds, but didn't think to leave the ones that were already under water where they were. Goodbye two more mattresses. Also, note to self: not a good idea to unplug a DVD player submerged in water unless getting electrocuted gives you a thrill.
After about an hour the water was up to our knees and we realized it was time to leave the house and go across the street to neighbors whose house is raised up. When we opened the back door water burst through. We got out as quickly as we could and started walking down the driveway. Before we even reached the street the water was up to my waist and I needed a neighbor to help me carry the twins across.
[A few days later on Shabbat, the rabbi invited every individual who wanted to come up, one at a time, a recite Birchat HaGomel, the blessing after one survives a dangerous situation. I chose not to recite it, because I never felt like it was life threatening. Friends had to literally swim through water that was up to their neck, pushing their kids in boats or boogie boards. However, maybe I am in denial about how scary this was and maybe I really should recite the bracha.]
Six families, wet, scared, and in shock, along with several frightened dogs as well, spent the next 10 hours or so trying to make sense of what was happening, figure out what had to be done next, and give each other Chizuk. Sitting on the front steps, watching the street you live on turn into a river is indescribable.
We have lived through hurricanes before in Florida, which in many ways are more frightening. But this flood was so unexpected. The flash flood warning signal on the TV that night for Harris County was ignored because 1) we see those often and it always just means a rainy night, and 2) Harris County is huge so you assume it means somewhere else. Anyway, long story (and long night) short, by sunrise there were a few people in boats trying to rescue neighbors in trouble, and by about 10am you could see the tip of the fire hydrant sticking out. Sitting with my son on the front steps we talked about how the dove must have felt after the flood, searching for an olive branch on which to rest.
When the water receded to just above the knees I walked back and was surprised to find the water in the house only up to my ankles. It was, of course, a mess. Things floated all over, garbage spilled, there was a strong sewage odor, and everything was soaked. Ironically, though the real house didn't do so well, the Lego house my kids had built stayed perfectly intact.
The next few days are a blur. Sweeping out the water. Throwing out furniture (beds, sofas, rugs, bookcases, dressers, china cabinets, desks) and anything else that got wet (clothes, toys, old baseball cards). Salvaging whatever we could by air drying with fans. Watching our front yard and entire street turn into a huge garbage dump.
At some point, I realized that there was more furniture outside than in, so I tried to cheer myself up by setting up this scene (notice the cheap rent sign):
Friends generously took us in to stay with them. In fact, our entire neighborhood is made up of families hosting others who have flooded. Someone else lent us a car (both of our cars had been paid off but are now goners). We took turns going to work while working on the house. We were so tired that each morning, when we woke up, our feet would still be hurting.
It took a couple of days until word started to get out about how big a disaster area this was, but when it did it went viral. I will write another post about all the great Chesed that is going on, which is truly incredible and inspiring. For now, however, we have finally reached the point where we can come up for air for a minute (which is why I finally have time and energy to blog). We have thrown most of our furniture and many of our belongings out. The rest we have placed in the kitchen, patio, or bathrooms. The walls of the house have been cut up to 2 feet and the wood floors all removed. Now we wait a few days for everything to dry out. We have many fans and dehumidifiers going.
There is not much else we can do for the house right now. Now the focus turns to dealing with Car Insurance, FEMA, and all that sort of stuff. Unfortunately, we did not know when signing up for our Renter's Insurance that that does not cover flooding, but we have not really had time to process the financial side of this. The bigger issue, even more important than money, or possessions, is the emotional well-being of our kids, each of whom has taken turns melting down in their own way. Aside from the trauma and fear, and the loss of special possessions, I think the biggest thing for them is the uncertainty. Which of my things survived? Where is everything? Where will we sleep/eat tonight? When can we move back home? Will this ever happen again?
Although this has been, and continues to be, very hard, we will get through this. I know this because 1) we have been through worse things in the past and gotten through them by supporting each other, and 2) we are in this together with our entire community who are all helping each other out. It will be a long recovery, both physically and emotionally, but we are resilient and our family and our community will pick ourselves up and start over. And the next time we wake up in that house, our feet won't hurt and we won't be stepping in water.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
The Road Less Traveled
Things have been pretty bust at work and I haven't had the chance to write about our winter vacation road trip to New Mexico last December. So here's a recap of some highlights with a few reflections thrown in along the way.
We had 2 weeks off and knew we didn't want to just sit around at home. So it was a choice between driving to Florida (18 hours) to visit old friends, enjoy kosher restaurants, and hit the beach, or driving to New Mexico (13 hours) to see new sights. We decided to try something new and so headed out on a 9 day road trip out west.
Texas is so big that you can never really see it all. But we decided to cut across diagonally through College Station (Aggie Land) and Abilene up to Albuquerque. Staying in Abilene for the night was a must because growing up my mother used to tell us the story of "Let's Not Go To Abilene," about a family that didn't say how they felt and ended up doing something no one wanted. Well, sure enough, Abilene isn't much to write home about, but it was a good pit stop for the night. That was Wednesday.
On Thursday we drove through the oil fields of West Texas, past Lubbock, and eventually arrived in Albuquerque around 5pm Mountain time (1 hour behind Houston). If you want to go Hot Air ballooning December isn't really the best season as it is cold and snowy. The big festival is in October. But we did venture out Friday to ride the Sky Tram up to Sandia Peak, a very tall mountain overlooking the city. It was snowing and freezing, but the views were amazing. Highly recommended. We also shmyed around Old Town Albuquerque to get some souvenirs and see the original town square. After a quiet family Shabbat in the hotel we went to see the Winter lights at the Zoo on Motzaei Shabbat, and then went on a great tiyul Sunday morning to Petroglyph National Park, where you can hike through hills filled with cave drawings from 400-700 years ago. The weather and the views were beautiful and we had a great time. Hiking and just enjoying natural beauty reminded me of being in Israel.
After that we drove an hour north to Santa Fe. I actually have cousins who live in Santa Fe but unfortunately they were out of town. It would have been nice to see them. People rave about Santa Fe, and it is quaint. We liked the Old Town square, and the Art galleries on Canyon road were interesting for a few minutes, but overall it wasn't that exciting. I am sure it is nicer in the warmer seasons.
On Monday we did a day trip to Taos, a Ski Area about 2 hours north. There are two main roads to Taos, the High Road and the Low Road. On the way up we took the High Road (something I try to do in life as often as I can) which had some nice views, but overall it was a long trip. After hanging in Taos for a while we drove about 15 minutes out of town to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, which, at 565 feet tall is the 7th tallest bridge in the country. It's actually pretty cool. You are driving through a valley surrounded by mountains (you are always surrounded by beautiful mountain ranges in Northern New Mexico). And literally out of nowhere you find yourself driving over a bridge that passes over a 500 foot canyon. People stop and take pictures. It's pretty neat. And that's when our adventure got interesting. We decided to ignore the GPS and take the road home that looked most direct. It hooked back around Taos and connected back onto the main highway heading back to Santa Fe. What we discovered too late was that this "road" really was a steep windy road that crept down into the Canyon. The roads were snowy, the turns tight, the drop off the cliff immense. And it was a narrow road that was somehow two way. Also, the sun was starting to set and we did not know how long this road would be, or how hard it would be to drive at night. There were no road lights and very few cars around. Well, it turned out to be incredible. The canyon was gorgeous, and once we made it down to the bottom we were able to follow the Low Road that goes right next to the Rio Grande river for miles. It was very beautiful and memorable.
Bye the way, I haven't mentioned anything about food yet. We have done many long distance road trips before. But never one that lasted 9 days. There were no kosher restaurants along the way. But somehow we managed just fine, including Shabbat. Santa Fe even has a Trader Joes with a very large selection of Kosher products. The interesting part was seeing which parts of the hotel breakfasts we could and could jot eat each morning. Those eggs, pancakes, and hash browns really looked good though. Oh well...
On Tuesday a snow storm was coming so we decided to start heading south a day early. We drove all day Tuesday trying to stay one step ahead of the snow. This time we did not drive home diagonally, but went South 1st and then turned West when we hit Texas. This allowed us to stop in Roswell, NM and visit the UFO museum. There are not really words to describe the kitchiness of this experience, including the guy in the store showing us picture on his cell phone of UFO's he swears has personally seen himself over Roswell, but it was right on the way so we couldn't pass it up. We made it across into Texas a little after dark and stayed in a roadside hotel in Fort Stockton.
When we woke up Wednesday December 31st in Fort Stockton the world was white with snow everywhere, and ice all over the roads. The projected 4 hour drive to San Antonio, ended up taking 9 hours due to the crazy driving conditions. We saw at least 10 overturned cars and trucks and felt our van gliding any time we went over about 40 mph. We were so grateful to finally arrive in San Antonio that night and get out of that car, though we did not get there in time to enjoy a freshly cooked meal in San Antonio's kosher restaurant. Having the fire alarm go off after we got the kids to sleep, and the entire hotel coming down until the fire department arrived was icing on the cake:-)
All in all, it was a really nice trip. We came home exhausted, but excited that we went on a family adventure together. I always feel like I understand the world just a little bit better after exploring places I have never seen before.
I would go back to New Mexico again one day. We did not get to visit Carlsbad Caverns, the White Sand Dunes, Los Alamos, or Bandalier National monument. But you can't do everything at once can you? I would also like to visit Big Bend Park in West Texas one day when it is not cold and snowing.
Post Script: Two weeks later we had our High School Retreat near Austin after which we did another mini road trip in Hill Country. We explored the quaint shopping areas of Wimberly and Fredericksburg, had a great time visiting the LBJ Ranch, and hiked in Peternales Falls State Park. One day I hope to get back near Fredericksburg and hike Enchanted Rock. There is just so much to see and appreciate in this beautiful world of ours.
We had 2 weeks off and knew we didn't want to just sit around at home. So it was a choice between driving to Florida (18 hours) to visit old friends, enjoy kosher restaurants, and hit the beach, or driving to New Mexico (13 hours) to see new sights. We decided to try something new and so headed out on a 9 day road trip out west.
Texas is so big that you can never really see it all. But we decided to cut across diagonally through College Station (Aggie Land) and Abilene up to Albuquerque. Staying in Abilene for the night was a must because growing up my mother used to tell us the story of "Let's Not Go To Abilene," about a family that didn't say how they felt and ended up doing something no one wanted. Well, sure enough, Abilene isn't much to write home about, but it was a good pit stop for the night. That was Wednesday.
On Thursday we drove through the oil fields of West Texas, past Lubbock, and eventually arrived in Albuquerque around 5pm Mountain time (1 hour behind Houston). If you want to go Hot Air ballooning December isn't really the best season as it is cold and snowy. The big festival is in October. But we did venture out Friday to ride the Sky Tram up to Sandia Peak, a very tall mountain overlooking the city. It was snowing and freezing, but the views were amazing. Highly recommended. We also shmyed around Old Town Albuquerque to get some souvenirs and see the original town square. After a quiet family Shabbat in the hotel we went to see the Winter lights at the Zoo on Motzaei Shabbat, and then went on a great tiyul Sunday morning to Petroglyph National Park, where you can hike through hills filled with cave drawings from 400-700 years ago. The weather and the views were beautiful and we had a great time. Hiking and just enjoying natural beauty reminded me of being in Israel.
After that we drove an hour north to Santa Fe. I actually have cousins who live in Santa Fe but unfortunately they were out of town. It would have been nice to see them. People rave about Santa Fe, and it is quaint. We liked the Old Town square, and the Art galleries on Canyon road were interesting for a few minutes, but overall it wasn't that exciting. I am sure it is nicer in the warmer seasons.
On Monday we did a day trip to Taos, a Ski Area about 2 hours north. There are two main roads to Taos, the High Road and the Low Road. On the way up we took the High Road (something I try to do in life as often as I can) which had some nice views, but overall it was a long trip. After hanging in Taos for a while we drove about 15 minutes out of town to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, which, at 565 feet tall is the 7th tallest bridge in the country. It's actually pretty cool. You are driving through a valley surrounded by mountains (you are always surrounded by beautiful mountain ranges in Northern New Mexico). And literally out of nowhere you find yourself driving over a bridge that passes over a 500 foot canyon. People stop and take pictures. It's pretty neat. And that's when our adventure got interesting. We decided to ignore the GPS and take the road home that looked most direct. It hooked back around Taos and connected back onto the main highway heading back to Santa Fe. What we discovered too late was that this "road" really was a steep windy road that crept down into the Canyon. The roads were snowy, the turns tight, the drop off the cliff immense. And it was a narrow road that was somehow two way. Also, the sun was starting to set and we did not know how long this road would be, or how hard it would be to drive at night. There were no road lights and very few cars around. Well, it turned out to be incredible. The canyon was gorgeous, and once we made it down to the bottom we were able to follow the Low Road that goes right next to the Rio Grande river for miles. It was very beautiful and memorable.
Bye the way, I haven't mentioned anything about food yet. We have done many long distance road trips before. But never one that lasted 9 days. There were no kosher restaurants along the way. But somehow we managed just fine, including Shabbat. Santa Fe even has a Trader Joes with a very large selection of Kosher products. The interesting part was seeing which parts of the hotel breakfasts we could and could jot eat each morning. Those eggs, pancakes, and hash browns really looked good though. Oh well...
On Tuesday a snow storm was coming so we decided to start heading south a day early. We drove all day Tuesday trying to stay one step ahead of the snow. This time we did not drive home diagonally, but went South 1st and then turned West when we hit Texas. This allowed us to stop in Roswell, NM and visit the UFO museum. There are not really words to describe the kitchiness of this experience, including the guy in the store showing us picture on his cell phone of UFO's he swears has personally seen himself over Roswell, but it was right on the way so we couldn't pass it up. We made it across into Texas a little after dark and stayed in a roadside hotel in Fort Stockton.
When we woke up Wednesday December 31st in Fort Stockton the world was white with snow everywhere, and ice all over the roads. The projected 4 hour drive to San Antonio, ended up taking 9 hours due to the crazy driving conditions. We saw at least 10 overturned cars and trucks and felt our van gliding any time we went over about 40 mph. We were so grateful to finally arrive in San Antonio that night and get out of that car, though we did not get there in time to enjoy a freshly cooked meal in San Antonio's kosher restaurant. Having the fire alarm go off after we got the kids to sleep, and the entire hotel coming down until the fire department arrived was icing on the cake:-)
All in all, it was a really nice trip. We came home exhausted, but excited that we went on a family adventure together. I always feel like I understand the world just a little bit better after exploring places I have never seen before.
I would go back to New Mexico again one day. We did not get to visit Carlsbad Caverns, the White Sand Dunes, Los Alamos, or Bandalier National monument. But you can't do everything at once can you? I would also like to visit Big Bend Park in West Texas one day when it is not cold and snowing.
Post Script: Two weeks later we had our High School Retreat near Austin after which we did another mini road trip in Hill Country. We explored the quaint shopping areas of Wimberly and Fredericksburg, had a great time visiting the LBJ Ranch, and hiked in Peternales Falls State Park. One day I hope to get back near Fredericksburg and hike Enchanted Rock. There is just so much to see and appreciate in this beautiful world of ours.
Friday, April 3, 2015
Questions Are B'Seder
I remember well, as a young child, sitting around the Seder table with my family, a magical feeling in the air, the table set for a royal feast, with Seder Plate, Haggadot, and pillows on which to recline. My father would begin to recite the Haggadah and would call on everyone around the table to take turns reading. We would hide the Afikoman and try our best to stay up late until the end so that we could sing Who Knows One and Chad Gadya. It was all so different and interesting. Of course, as the youngest in my family, my starring role was reciting the Ma Nishtanah questions: Why is this night different than all other nights?
You know, as an educator, questions are at the heart of everything we do. Sometimes we ask our students questions, pushing them to think deeper and trying to pique their curiosity. And other times our students ask us questions. These questions can include everything from “why do we have to learn this?” to “how do we know there is a G-d?” Some people are afraid of questions, seeing them as distracting or perhaps even disrespectful. But if you really think about it you will recognize that questions are at the heart of learning. In Educational circles this is known as Inquiry-Based Learning, and it means very simply that we tend to be more motivated to work hard and learn when we have questions that we want to answer, problems that we want to solve. One of the fun challenges of parenting and teaching is recognizing the unique personalities and learning styles of each child so that we can support their search for meaning and understanding. And maybe that’s the idea behind the Four Children mentioned in the Haggadah. Every child is unique and therefore learns differently. Our job is to help each child, in their own way, develop their curiosity and desire to learn.
This Haggadah represents the 2nd straight year that we as an Upper School have collaborated to make a Haggadah made up of Student Divrei Torah. We asked each student to ask a question and share one approach to answering their question. The answers are insightful and thought provoking, but to be honest, to me a good question is almost always more interesting than a good answer.
In Judaism we have an expression: “שבעים פנים לתורה – There are 70 faces to the Torah.” This means that for any question there are numerous possible approaches, each with its own validity and meaning. The specific answer that speaks to you does not necessarily have to speak to me. But what is important is that we all (adults and children alike) ask questions.
So, on behalf of our wonderful Upper School teachers and students, please enjoy this year’s RMBA Haggadah. And when you are sitting around the table at your Seder, maybe put down the Haggadah every few minutes (after all, it is not just a script to read) and ask the people you are with a question that peeks your interest. The youngest ones may recite the Ma Nishtana, but asking questions is something every one of us should do, on Seder night and throughout our lives.
Chag Sameach!!!
http://online.flipbuilder.com/huqb/ekzm/mobile/index.html
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
AIPAC Policy Conference
These next 2 posts are from the last few months, but I am only getting around to posting about them now.
I had the incredible privilege a few weeks ago to chaperon six High School students to Washington D.C. for the AIPAC Policy conference. I came away so impressed by the professionalism of the conference and so inspired by the unity and support of the State of Israel. The Convention Center was literally packed with over 16,000 delegates, including over 3000 students! The many sessions given by experts of all types (including my brother!) were informative and engaging. And the lineup of keynote speakers was incredible!
Among the many speakers I heard over three days were Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Czech Republic President Milos Zeman, Former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, Former Canadian Foreign Minister John Baird, US Representative to the United Nations Samantha Powers, US National Security Advisor Susan Rice, Senators Joseph Lieberman, Lindsey Graham, Ben Cardin, Robert Menendez, and Mitch McConnell, Congressmen Kevin McCarthy (House Majority Leader) and Steny Hoyer (House Democratic Whip), and many others. We should not take for granted that we live in a country that gives us the freedom to gather in support of Israel and that supports Israel to the extent that it does.
We also got to hear from Israeli entrepreneurs inventing incredible technologies, Americans and Israelis (both Jewish and non-Jewish) with so many inspiring stories, and the son of the leader of Hamas, known as The Green Prince, who became a spy for Israel.
AIPAC was very focused during the conference on the ongoing negotiations between the U.S. and Iran about a nuclear deal. They sent us to Capitol Hill on Tuesday with a clear message to ask our elected officials to vote for bills that would allow congress to review any possible deal, and to bring the message that no deal is better than a bad deal (i.e. a deal that would allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon and to continue funding terror).
It is amazing that just a few months after a major war in Gaza there was very little focus on that. It was almost entirely on Iran. We did get to meet a resident of Sderot who takes exploded Katyusha rockets and turns them into Art. And we heard something amazing about the residents of Sderot, that when the Red Alert siren goes off indicating an incoming missile, the 1st thing they do is not to run to the shelter, but to leave their front doors open for anyone else who may need shelter.
Getting back to the lobbying, we had large groups (we are from Texas after all) visiting our local Congressman, John Culberson, and our two Senators, John Cornyn and Ted Cruz. But my students and I arrived a little early and paid a visit as well to another Houston area Congressman, Al Green, who has been to our school and was helpful a few years ago when our basketball team's playoff game was scheduled on Shabbat. It was kind of him to see us, and it was a powerful lesson for my students to be able to sit in a private meeting (just 5 of us) with the Congressman. In fact, it struck me throughout the conference what a pivotal role young people are playing both within the AIPAC organization and standing up for Israel on the front lines of college campuses.
On a personal note, I had the chance to see many old friends from Rabbinical school and from our years in Boca Raton, including many old students of mine who are now either in High School or College and doing great things. It's an underrated joy to see your students a few years later and to see what fine people they are turning into.
So, I return to Houston inspired and full of ideas about how to develop our Israel Advocacy here at Beren. We have already started laying the groundwork for an Israel Ambassadors club, invited Congressman Culberson to come visit us when he is back in town, and made plans to take students next year not only to the National Policy Conference, but also to the Teen Conference as well. When I see how passionate our students are in support of Medinat Yisrael and see the potential leadership experiences they can play, I am very excited.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Getting Engaged
This week I had the opportunity to learn with thousands of other educators at the National Conference of ASCD (Association of Supervision and Curriculum Development) which took place here in Houston this year. It is always uplifting to be a student and inspiring to meet other educators from around the world, all of whom are dedicating their lives to helping others discover and develop their potential. Isn't it ironic that when we are in school many of us can't wait to get out, and later we cherish the opportunity to learn with others?
Even though the theme of the conference this year was Disruptive Innovation, what I found was that in session after session that I attended the key word that kept coming up was Engagement. What is Engagement? According to Allison Zmuda, who gave a talk on Student Engagement, it refers to "when students choose to invest and reinvest their attention and their effort in the pursuit of a learning goal."
Andy Hargreaves, in his talk on Uplifting Leadership, discussed the origin of the word Engagement. It turns out that the word Engagement comes from 16th century Europe where it referred to military battle. Only about 100 years later do we find the word starting to be used in the context of getting married [insert marriage joke here...]. And Dr. Hargreaves noted that we think of marriage as long lasting, as requiring sacrifice and hard work, as being worthwhile and uplifting. So when it comes to engaging students in learning, the goal is to help students see that by working hard they will reap long lasting benefits to themselves which will open new horizons to them.
The question then becomes, how do we do that? One of the best talks I attended was given by an amazing educator named Rafe Esquith (trust me - look him up!)He mentioned two strategies that successful teachers do to engage their students. 1) They take the time to explain the relevance of what he is teaching them so that students understand why it is important for them. 2) They teach things that they love and do so in a fun way. You can't expect your students to be excited and engage did you are not yourself.
Along the same lines, I loved a talk I heard by Myron Dueck, who spoke about how to assess Creativity. He gave many examples of teachers who are allowing their students to demonstrate learning in creative ways, which builds their interest and keeps them engaged. And he showed that you can do so without sacrificing expectations.
Another great talk was by Dr. Rick Duvall, who had several hundred attendees learn practical activities we can use in our classrooms to engage students by having us experience those activities ourselves. Many of the activities were fairly simple games and collaborative activities, but if you develop a bag of these tricks up your sleeve it allows you to engage the entire class (not just the extroverts) in a fun and interactive way.
But as Allison Zmuda noted, there's a difference between engaging students and entertaining them. The goal is for them to be active learners, curious about the world, confident that they can find solutions to the questions that are bothering them. In fact, Myron Dueck noted that when hiring, Google looks for people, not necessarily with the highest GPA or test scores, but who like figuring out stuff where there is no obvious answer. This is what we call inquiry. And in fact, he said, the ones getting paid the most are not the problem solvers, but the problem predictors.
Student Engagement sounds great on paper, but as every teacher knows, it is not easy. Not every student learns the same way, is interested in the same things, or has the same drive. I have been thinking a lot about another talk I heard, from Stacy Nelson, about Bridging the Gap between Expectation and Performance. He helped us think about the different types of conversations we have with people who are not engaged and are not meeting our expectations. And one of the key things is establishing trust and conveying the feeling that you are friend; not foe. That will open up dialogue and help you understand why the person is not on board and what you can do to help get them going in the right direction.
As a classroom teacher and a Principal I think about Student Engagement on a daily basis (maybe that's why I naturally kept hearing that theme come up again and again). I hope that when my students think of me years down the line they will picture more the type of engaging teacher associated with close relationships than with battles, and that they will remember that I taught them that with hard work they really can solve problems and make the world better.
Even though the theme of the conference this year was Disruptive Innovation, what I found was that in session after session that I attended the key word that kept coming up was Engagement. What is Engagement? According to Allison Zmuda, who gave a talk on Student Engagement, it refers to "when students choose to invest and reinvest their attention and their effort in the pursuit of a learning goal."
Andy Hargreaves, in his talk on Uplifting Leadership, discussed the origin of the word Engagement. It turns out that the word Engagement comes from 16th century Europe where it referred to military battle. Only about 100 years later do we find the word starting to be used in the context of getting married [insert marriage joke here...]. And Dr. Hargreaves noted that we think of marriage as long lasting, as requiring sacrifice and hard work, as being worthwhile and uplifting. So when it comes to engaging students in learning, the goal is to help students see that by working hard they will reap long lasting benefits to themselves which will open new horizons to them.
The question then becomes, how do we do that? One of the best talks I attended was given by an amazing educator named Rafe Esquith (trust me - look him up!)He mentioned two strategies that successful teachers do to engage their students. 1) They take the time to explain the relevance of what he is teaching them so that students understand why it is important for them. 2) They teach things that they love and do so in a fun way. You can't expect your students to be excited and engage did you are not yourself.
Along the same lines, I loved a talk I heard by Myron Dueck, who spoke about how to assess Creativity. He gave many examples of teachers who are allowing their students to demonstrate learning in creative ways, which builds their interest and keeps them engaged. And he showed that you can do so without sacrificing expectations.
Another great talk was by Dr. Rick Duvall, who had several hundred attendees learn practical activities we can use in our classrooms to engage students by having us experience those activities ourselves. Many of the activities were fairly simple games and collaborative activities, but if you develop a bag of these tricks up your sleeve it allows you to engage the entire class (not just the extroverts) in a fun and interactive way.
But as Allison Zmuda noted, there's a difference between engaging students and entertaining them. The goal is for them to be active learners, curious about the world, confident that they can find solutions to the questions that are bothering them. In fact, Myron Dueck noted that when hiring, Google looks for people, not necessarily with the highest GPA or test scores, but who like figuring out stuff where there is no obvious answer. This is what we call inquiry. And in fact, he said, the ones getting paid the most are not the problem solvers, but the problem predictors.
Student Engagement sounds great on paper, but as every teacher knows, it is not easy. Not every student learns the same way, is interested in the same things, or has the same drive. I have been thinking a lot about another talk I heard, from Stacy Nelson, about Bridging the Gap between Expectation and Performance. He helped us think about the different types of conversations we have with people who are not engaged and are not meeting our expectations. And one of the key things is establishing trust and conveying the feeling that you are friend; not foe. That will open up dialogue and help you understand why the person is not on board and what you can do to help get them going in the right direction.
As a classroom teacher and a Principal I think about Student Engagement on a daily basis (maybe that's why I naturally kept hearing that theme come up again and again). I hope that when my students think of me years down the line they will picture more the type of engaging teacher associated with close relationships than with battles, and that they will remember that I taught them that with hard work they really can solve problems and make the world better.
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