This weekend we celebrated the Bar Mitzvah of our son Simcha and he too will one day be able to tell people about the unusual Bar Mitzvah he had over Zoom. Like many others these days, we were unable to celebrate this special occasion in person due to the social distancing required to stay safe from the Coronavirus. Although this was hard for many reasons, including not being able to celebrate with friends and family, and Simcha not being able to receive an Aliyah and leyn his Torah portion in shul, it was still such a special and meaningful weekend. Let me share some of the things we did so that years from now, when telling his kids about his Bar Mitzvah, Simcha will be able to share the details.
Simcha is an amazing young man. He is smart and funny and kind. In addition, Simcha and his twin sister Rina were miracle babies and, while every Bar Mitzvah is so special, this one is especially meaningful. We heard from several people this week who reached out saying how they will never forget the twins' birth and how special that was.
To prepare for his Bar Mitzvah Simcha did a bunch of things. Firstly, he learned with his Uncle Matt who taught him how to leyn. Simcha is a natural and picked it up beautifully. He never needed to be persuaded to practice his leyning and he enjoys it and is good at it. Simcha learned his entire Parsha (Shelach) and Haftara. Simcha also learned about his parsha in school this year and wrote a beautiful Dvar Torah connecting the Mitzvah of Tzitzit, which appears at the end of the parsha, with the Cheit HaMeraglim, which appears at the beginning. He focused on the word "Taturu," which appears in both sections, and developed the theme of looking for the good rather than the bad. Simcha did a Chesed project in which he baked cakes and cookies for Shavuot (he loves baking) and donated the proceeds to Yad Yehuda. Simcha taught himself Hilchot Tefillin using a workbook of questions based on Rav Eider's book. Finally, Simcha and Rina learned Mishna with me all year long, completing the entire Seder Nezikin (last year we learned Seder Moed). That's 685 Mishnayot! Suffice it to say, Simcha put a lot of prep into his Bar Mitzvah!
While we were hoping that maybe, somehow, we would be able to at least have a small minyan over Shabbat where Simcha could leyn, it wasn't in the cards. So instead we tried to make the entire week feel special, culminating in the big zoom celebration on Sunday. Our family prepared beautiful surprises such as a Mazal Tov Simcha yard sign, a Simcha Standard newsletter, a Shabbat scavenger hunt, a Tefillin cake, and much more.
On Friday morning (his Bo Bayom) Simcha put on Tefillin with a bracha for the 1st time. Simcha received the incredible gift of his great grandfather's Tefilllin from my father, which is so meaningful. Every time he wears them you can literally see the Mesorah being passed down through the generations. Simcha also has the most beautiful Tefillin bag, lovingly designed and crafted by his Savta, with the pasuk "Ivdu Et Hashem B'Simcha Bou Lefanav Birnana" on it. We invited Simcha's friends to our driveway where they could sign a poster for Simcha, say a quick hello and mazal tov in person, enjoy a Krispy Kreme donut, and receive a goody bag with mini basketball hoops and a Seudah Shlishit Slow Shira booklet that we designed in Simcha's honor (he loves Slow Shira).
We also hosted a family only zoom on Friday in which grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins could share nice words about Simcha (a family tradition normally held after Kiddush but before lunch at family simchas). Simcha's sister Shira had also organized a really fun Simcha song in which many family members filmed themselves singing different parts of the song. And Simcha leyned Rishon and shared how much each of his family members means to him. We also presented Simcha with a booklet of life advice letters written to him by many family members called Pirkei Avot V'Imahot Shel Simcha. In order that family who could not be with us over Shabbat feel connected we sent out a Simcha themed Mad Libs for them to read at the table, as well as a mini shiur about the concept of Simcha. And of course, the Slow Shira booklet. Right before Shabbat we took some really nice photos of the 5 of us in the backyard. [And we did a few more nice ones in shul Sunday morning].
To make Shabbat feel special we let Simcha choose his favorite foods for the menu and we decorated the house. We also went by ourselves into our empty shul on Shabbat morning so that Simcha could read his entire parsha from a Sefer Torah. Right after Shabbat we invited family and Simcha's classmates to a Havdalah and Kahoot game about Simcha, which was really fun.
Which brings us to the big event on Sunday. One of the silver linings of this unusual bar mitzvah was the ability to include people from all over the world who would not otherwise have been able to celebrate with us. It was really incredible to see friends from every stop on our journeys, including London, Israel, Boston, New York, New Jersey, Florida, Texas, and Maryland. As people logged on to the zoom we had a playlist of songs with the word Simcha playing and a Sim's Club logo with the schedule of what would take place on the zoom meeting. Elisheva welcomed everyone and shared how special this moment is for us. Our shul Rabbi, Rabbi Brahm Weinberg, shared some inspiring words of Torah with Simcha. Simcha then leyned Shevii and delivered a beautiful Dvar Torah. We then showed a really fun video where family members and Simcha's classmates wished him mazal tov in a cool way. We asked them to send in videos where they opened their refrigerator, with their phone already inside recording, and took something unusual out. People were really creative with the types of items they took out and SImcha loved it! After that Simcha and Rina and I learned the final mishna of Pirkei Avot and made a siyum on Seder Nezikin. I had a hard time holding it together, as I know how many hours we put into this project. I am so impressed and proud of them for this tremendous accomplishment at such a young age. And, bli neder, with Hashem's help, we hope to keep on going and, B'ezrat Hashem maybe even make a Siyum Hashas before their High School graduation in 5 years. We have completed 2 sedarim and have 4 to go! We finished with an unbelievable Simcha photo montage put together by Shira in which we saw Simcha's amazing growth over the years from the cutest baby to the incredible young man he is today.
Overall, I think Simcha felt really good about his Bar Mitzvah. It still wasn't the same as having it in person. But he understands why and feels good about what he accomplished. We have this vision of a Shabbat, at some point down the road, in which we can celebrate all these boys and girls who have not been able to celebrate their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in person. But for now, we are happy that we were still able to mark this special turning point, share it with so many friends, and spotlight this incredible young man. We thank all the family, friends, and teachers who have helped Simcha become who he is today, and we ask that Hashem continue to look out for him, guide him, inspire him, and support him for many years to come.
May the day come soon when we can all celebrate together with a hug and a L'chayim. In the meantime, it is enough to know that so many people care and that Simcha is on the right derech to live a life of purpose. Mazal Tov!
