Tests of Endurance

Tonight is seder night. And I have been thinking a lot recently about tests of endurance. (What time does your Seder end? :-)

Over the last few months I have watched several documentaries on Netflix about people who undertake long and difficult journeys to test their limits and discover their potential:

The Long Way Around - 2 British motorcyclists (one of whom is actor Ewen McGregor) ride from London to New York going east.

The Long Way Down - The same 2 guys ride from Scotland to Cape Town.

The Barkley Marathons - Runners race for 60 straight hours through the woods of Tennessee.

Maiden Voyage - A 15 year old girl sails around the globe by herself.

Inspired to Ride - Bicycle riders race from Oregon to Virginia.

Desert Runners - Runners run 5 day Marathons across the 4 biggest deserts in the world (Atacama, Gobi, Sahara, Antarctica)

I'm not sure why I have gotten into these stories recently. They involve travel which I love. But I think it's more about this idea of challenging yourself and discovering unknown strength.

It makes me reflect on what Bnei Yisrael must have felt like as they travelled through the harsh desert for 40 years. Certainly they were happy to be free of slavery. But the seeming impossibility and endlessness of their journey understandably deflated them as well.

As I watched these documentaries I also reflected on the theme of Individuality vs. Community. In some ways these people were leaving their families and the lives they knew to venture off on their own into the unknown. The 15 year old girl even says something like "I think what I love about it is the freedom, the fact that I have no attachments to anyone or anything." But when you watch further you realize that one of the things they love the most is the connections they make along the way. Runners run together. Cyclists help each other out. Even the sailing girl makes deep connections along the way.

Travelling through the desert for 40 years must have been a great ordeal. But they had their Shevet, their tribe. And they helped each other out.

It is hard to fathom, but this week our community in Houston suffered our 2nd devastating flood in the last 11 months. Streets turned to rivers. Houses and cars submerged. The shul destroyed once again. Our community had not even recovered from last year's floods. This just seems unfair, like getting kicked when you're already down for the count.

When displaced from your home after a flood you feel like your equilibrium is off, like your internal GPS telling you where you are in the world so that you can figure out where you are going has to be recalibrated. Do I belong here? Is this my home? When will I be able to settle down and build my life?

But at the same time as everyone feels alone, isolated, and disconnected, an amazing thing happens. You start to realize that while it is true that there is a lot of work to be done, that it seems impossible and endless, and that most of it you will have to do for yourself, it is also true that you are part of a community who are all going through this together with you. That there will be times that you need support from others, and times that they will need it from you. That you will encourage each other and get through it together.

Hard times are not fun. But they make you stronger. They develop in you grit, resilience, and determination. So this Seder night I will try to reflect on the journey of endurance that our People have gone through over the centuries. We have overcome all odds and supported each other along the way. We have moved homes many times, but always felt at home with our families and communities. We have discovered in ourselves reservoirs of strength and potential that we didn't know we had. And in going through our own challenges we have become more sensitive to the trials of others, seeking to heal the world one helping hand at a time. This Seder night let us look around the table, even if it is not our own, and smile when we realize that just as we have gotten to this point together, so too will we always endure and overcome because we are part of an amazing family.

Goodbye 30's, Hello 40's

In about 20 minutes or so it will be my 40th birthday. When I was a kid I used to look forward to my birthday. It was a day of celebration, of cake, of presents, and of parties. But as I get older I find myself hanging on to the positive anticipation while simultaneously dreading it a bit as well. For a while it was because I would think to myself something along the lines of "what have I achieved in my life?" Now I think I am able to reflect on some things I am proud of and grateful for, most importantly my precious family. But still, if you know me well you know that I am not so fun in the days leading up to my birthday. And I think it's because as I get older I realize more and more how quickly life passes by and how easy it is to take things for granted. I have all these things I want to do and places I want to see, and I think to myself, "Im Lo Achshav Ematai - If Not Now When?" I feel a sense of Carpe Diem and a desire to break out of the routine and turn hopes and dreams into plans and reality.

Of course, big numbers like 40 also make me reflect on health and on getting older. I want to stay feeling young and healthy. I appreciate the wisdom that comes with experience (boy was I naive in my 20's :-) but I don't want to lose my sense of adventure and my joy of exploration and discovery.

Looking back on the past decade of my life, it has been mostly about the blessing of raising 3 beautiful children together with my wife Elisheva. And it has been about finding myself in terms of my career. I feel like I grew a lot as a person in my 30's and there are aspects of my life that I would never have imagined 10 years ago (Twins, being a Principal, living in TX). So now, as I close one decade of life and begin the next, I can only imagine what is in store. I pray for good health for me and my loved ones. I pray for a sense of belonging and that I am making a difference in the world. I pray for the ability to keep learning and growing as a person. I hope to focus more on my health, and to improve my diet and exercise. And I hope to see as many new places as I can this decade. Over the last 5 years or so I have developed a new and unexpected love of maps, geography, and travel. There is an amazing world out there that Hashem created and I want to see it all.

So here's to my 40's. May they be even better than my 30's and may I never take this precious life for granted.