Leaving Home

I'm on a flight back to Houston now from Boston where I've had the incredible privilege to spend the last week learning about the Art of Leadership at the Harvard Graduate School of Education together with 150 other school principals from around the country, and indeed, the world. It has been an amazing week and I'd like to share some of the highlights.

1st of all, it was great to be back in my hometown! I grew up in Boston but my family has since moved, so this was a rare opportunity for me to come back. Walking the streets of Cambridge, catching a Red Sox game at Fenway, strolling along the Charles river, enjoying a great meal at Rubins Deli, riding the "T," and hearing the local news (and accents) on tv, all made me feel right at home.

I also really enjoyed connecting with other people and building a network of principals with whom to share ideas or seek advice in the future. And on this trip I was fortunate to be part of two amazing groups.

The 1st group was the team of 11 principals from Jewish Day Schools around the country who were brought to Harvard by AviChai in order to develop our leadership and make our schools even better. We shared meals, spent Shabbat together, and met throughout the week (often after a long day of Harvard sessions) to discuss how we can use the learning from Harvard to enhance the Jewish missions of our schools. Though the group was a diverse mix, we all supported one another and learned from each other. And we enjoyed each other's company as well.

The other group I spent a lot of time with at Harvard was the small group I was assigned to by Harvard. At least once a day we took a break from the big group of 150 and met with our small group of about 15 to discuss what we were learning and to help each other apply the learning to our own contexts. We had a really great group of people, each of whom taught me a lot. Some members came from states like TX, CA, and FL, while others came from countries as far as India and Australia. What was amazing was how close we all felt to each other after being total strangers just 7 days before.

Part of the reason we became so close so quickly was because Harvard took us all to a place called Project Adventure on the 2nd day of the institute. It was basically an all day team building experience out in the woods. There were ropes courses and many other team building games. It was a really fun way to get to know each other and to drive home the message that we can accomplish more than we think we are capable of when we know others are there to celebrate our successes and to soften our falls. It made me think that if total strangers with such different backgrounds can bond so closely in such a short time, we can certainly do some great team building at school, both for staff and for students.

One additional note about my small group. I felt very accepted by the group in terms of being a Rabbi. They understood about my practice not to touch women (which I'm sure seemed very strange), or about why I could not join them for the clambake (all I can say on that is wow! You have to see one to know what I am talking about), or about why I had to miss the session on Shabbat morning. They were very respectful and actually interested to learn more about Judaism. So that also helped me feel very supported. And in general during the conference, Harvard went out of their way to make our AviChai group feel comfortable and to provide kosher snacks, etc...

Ok, so I've shared how being in Boston and how connecting with other people made the week special. That brings me to the heart of why this week was so powerful for me, and that was the Harvard experience itself.

I cannot tell you how great it felt to be a student again. Which is funny, because I can remember once upon a time longing for school to be over. But being accepted to such a prestigious program and learning from some of the top experts in the field of educational leadership was so fulfilling. And walking around Harvard with my student ID (including eating a kosher meal in the Harvard Faculty Lounge, having my phone go off in the Reading Room of the Widener Library, and eating lunch in Haaavaahd Yaaahd) reminded me of just how much I love learning and studying.

Each morning we would show up to the lecture by 8:30 sharp. Dr. Pamela Mason from Harvard, who ran the institute, would start the day asking "who is feeling lucky?" and she would then draw three names to see who would win a Harvard keychain. This was an incentive to come on time, but as one participant reflected on the last day, it was also a reminder to each of us to remember how lucky we are to have the opportunity to inspire and empower children every day when we show up to work. Dr. Mason would then ask if anyone wanted to "celebrate the success." And each day would begin with several people sharing successes they had as a way of inspiring others.

As to the sessions themselves, most of us can't imagine sitting through more than about a 20 minute speech before we start to fidget and check our phones. But each morning and each afternoon there was a 3 hour lecture (with a 15 minute break in the middle). And do you know what? With maybe one exception, every single speaker was so interesting, engaging, and entertaining, that I found the time flying by as I tried to take notes on all the concepts I was learning.

There was some sharing of research, and some teaching of new skill sets (ex. Teacher Supervision and Writing Across the Curriculum). There was inspiration and reflection on why what we do is so critical. But the biggest learning for me over the conference was the emphasis on new mindsets that have the potential to make us more effective school leaders. We learned about Social Perspective Taking (the ability to see things from the other person's perspective), about the Immunity to Change (a way of digging deep to see why we hold ourselves back from accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves), and about Adaptive Leadership styles (how our thoughts and actions effect the way others react to us). I really wasn't sure what to expect when I got to Harvard, but I can tell you that it was the greatest professional development program I have ever been on. And I think what I have learned this past week will help me be not only a better school leader, but also a better person.

So the question now becomes what will I do with all this learning? How will I bring it back to my reality and make sure it doesn't get left behind in Boson?

I read an interesting quote just now in the in-flight magazine:

"Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started." (Steve Prefontaine)

I don't know yet "how far I've got" from this institute. I need to spend some time processing everything and making some action plans. But I do know that I've traveled a long way from where I started.

As this flight lands in Houston I am both leaving home and coming home. And it reminds me of something one of the speakers talked about on the very 1st day of the institute. She said sometimes, when you want to bring others along with you and share your passion, inspiration, and vision, it can take a little while for them to "leave home," to be open to considering a new way of looking at things.

As I return home to my family what I do know is that I have left home. I have left my hometown of Boston. But more importantly, I have "left home" on some of the mindsets I used to have. And I am very excited and hopeful about the direction I am headed.

My Most Important Students

Six years ago today Hashem blessed us with the birth of our twins, Rina and Simcha. On one level it seems like so long ago, when you think of all the memories, the diapers changed, bottles fed, and bruises kissed. And on the other hand it feels like just yesterday. Suffice it today that June 13th, 2007 (like the 613 mitzvot) will always be one of the happiest days of our lives.

It's amazing to see them grow up, not only physically, but in every way. They are so smart, so funny, and already you can see their unique personalities and middot tovot developing. It's also amazing to see how their older sister Shira is growing, both as a big sister, and as a young woman in her own right (about to enter High School!). We feel blessed to be on this incredible journey, even with its twists and turns, and are so grateful to Hashem for everything.

I once heard from Rabbi JJ Shachter that sometimes mechanchim (Jewish educators) work so hard to inspire and teach those around them that they take for granted that their most important students, their own children, will follow as well. And that is why Hashem had to remind Avraham ״כי ביצחק יקרא לך זרע״ - "Your ancestry will come through Yitzchak." I hope and pray that Hashem will continue to guide us in raising our children the right way, and that we remember that the lessons we teach at home are the most powerful lessons of all.

So I guess the lesson of this post is to appreciate everything you have, to buckle up for the journey, and to remember that we are all teachers, all of the time. The question is, will we put in the time to prepare great lessons?

The Last Day of School

I can't believe an entire school year has come and gone! It feels like we just left our friends in FL and moved to TX. And yet, today was the last day of school!

How do you summarize a year?

There were meetings. Lots of meetings! And programs, and trips, and emails, and phone calls. There was curriculum, and professional development, and mentoring. There was laughter, and frustration, and exhaustion. There were successes as well as mistakes. There was learning and discovery, courage and fear. There was a never-ending desire to make things better, and still there was pride in the good things being done. There were days that everything went right, and days when nothing seemed to go as planned. There was rarely a quiet moment, and never any boredom. There was almost never energy at the end of the day to update this blog. There were 265 beautiful kids and their amazing teachers who made each day inspiring and meaningful. And there was a loving and supportive wife who helped me every step of the way.