A Hug From The Future

Yesterday we moved out of the house we have been living in for the last 9 years. It was a hard day. In fact, this whole move has been harder than I expected. On the one hand, we are so excited for our new opportunity in Houston. It seems like a great community, and I'm so excited to join the amazing team at Beren. But at the same time, Boca has been our home for 9 years and it is a community that we love. We feel very at home here, have so many close friends here, and have raised our children here. As we walked through our empty house one last time last night I was reminded of the day we moved in 9 years ago. I was such a different person then. And our family was different as well. Shira was only 4 when we moved in. Now she is a bright, kind, mature 13 year old. Rina and Simcha were dreams of ours, that to be perfectly honest, I didn't always believe we would ever see fulfilled. Thank God, we have grown so much here in so many ways. We have been through very hard times here, and very happy times as well. We have so many special memories here, and although we are leaving Boca, Boca will never ever leave us. I've been thinking about what it is about Boca that I'm going to miss the most. What is it that's making this separation so hard? Some of it may just be normal anxiety about the unknown. But I feel that it goes much deeper than that. Is it the house itself? Not really. We have had many great memories in that house and will always remember it. But our new house in Houston is even nicer. Is it the neighborhood? While we will miss the palm trees and the beach, Houston is also very pretty and has a similar climate. At the end of the day, it's the people and the relationships that we will miss. Even with Facebook, and Skype, and Southwest, it's not the same as seeing people day to day. And I'm not only talking about our close friends with whom I'm sure we will stay close forever. It's even those people you see in shul that you look up to and have learned from, that have given you a hug or a kind word during tough times, and with whom you have shared so much. It helps me appreciate, at least a little, of what Avraham must have been feeling when told to leave his land, his birthplace, and his father's house. For Rina and Simcha, this community has literally been מולדתך, it is all they have ever known. For Shira, it has been בית אביך, the place she grew up. And for us, it has been ארצך, the place we felt at home. So I guess that's why this separation has been hard for us. It feels like we belong in both places and we don't want to let go of either one. It actually fits with a Dvar Torah I heard from a friend (Rabbi Neil Fleischman) about this week's parsha (Korach). The Mishnah in Avot says that the Machloket (dispute) of Korach was the classic example of a dispute that is not L'sheim Shamayim, for the sake of heaven. But the Mishnah says that if a Machloket is L'sheim Shamayim then Sofa L'Hitkayem, it will endure. Why would you want a dispute to endure? The answer may lie in the word Machloket itself. It comes from the word Chelek, a portion. If a dispute is really for the sake of heaven then each side knows that they only have a portion of the truth. And that they need each other to complete the puzzle. That's the type of dispute that we want to last. The kind that keeps people connected to each other even when they are apart. And that's how we feel right now. We have had this internal Machloket between staying in Boca and moving to Houston. We feel connected to both. And therefore Sofa L'Hitkayem, we pray that our relationship with both will endure forever. So what do we take with us from Boca? Beautiful relationships. Amazing memories. An understanding of what the word Community really means. And the inspiration to try to bring the sense of Achdut (unity) Kavod (mutual respect and tolerance for differences) and Areivut (shared responsibility) with us wherever we go. They say that when you depart from someone you should leave them with a Bracha, a blessing. To Boca, all I can say is thank you for all you have done for our family and may you continue to inspire many others. As for ourselves, the best Bracha we got was from my sister Rachel who said that she wished that the me from a year from now, who knows how right this move was for our family, and how happy we will be in Houston, could give a hug to the me from right now. I know she is right and I look forward to that hug. Anyone who knows me knows I love books (more on that in future posts). We have just completed an amazing (and long) chapter in the book of our lives. I can't wait to see how the next chapter goes. If it's anything like the last one then we'll be very happy indeed.