Seder Discussion Themes

Seder Discussion Themes - Rabbi Aaron Levitt

Kadesh

Where and when do we experience holiness in our lives?

What do we do to create or capture moments of inspiration in our lives?

Urchatz

What types of situations do we prepare for in our lives and not just wing it?

Karpas

How does “dipping” into past bitterness help make the present taste sweeter?

Yachatz

What feels broken or incomplete in our lives?

Where do we feel disconnected?

What machloket or brogez do we hold onto in our lives?

Maggid

If you could tell someone the story of overcoming something in your life what would it be?

What messages do we put out there every day without even realizing it?

Ha Lachma Anya

Do we mind our own business or think of others who are lonely or need help?

What hardships did our ancestors experience for us to be here today?

What does Freedom mean to us?

Ma Nishtana

What Big Questions do we have in our lives?

Avadim HaYinu

What is the benefit of remembering tough times?

Think back to a tough time in your life and consider how things could have played out differently

5 Rabbis in Bnei Brak

Have you ever gotten so involved in something that you lost track of time?

R’ Elazar Ben Azaryah

Have you ever felt older or wiser than your years?

Baruch HaMakom

What are you thankful to God for?

The 4 Sons

How are your children, your siblings, your students different from one another?

Have you ever experienced personalized customer service? Or the opposite?

How do we ensure that every child feels welcome at the table?

Are the 4 sons different people or is there a little of each of them in us?

Yachol MeRosh Chodesh

Timing is everything - Have you ever experienced that in your life?

Mitchila Ovdei Avodah Zarah

What can we learn from the mistakes of the past?

Baruch Shomer Havtachato

Do we trust Hashem to look out for us?

Are we patient and faithful even if it takes a long time?

Do we keep our word to others?

V’Hi She’Amda

Have we ever personally experienced Antisemitism?
What has gotten us through tough times as a People? A Family? Individuals?

How do we develop Resiliency?

Tzeh U’Lemad

Has Assimilation affected our families?

How do we ensure that we do not lose our Jewish identity?

Makkot

Have we ever doubted whether there is justice only to see it some time later?

What should we feel and think when we witness the downfall of our enemies?

Dayenu

Do we ever feel satisfied or are we always hungry for more

Is there anything in our lives we feel we do not really deserve?

Pesach, Matzah, Marror

Do we ever do things on autopilot without stopping to think why we do them?

Bechol Dor VaDor

As adults do we forget to tap into our imagination?

What is the power of imagination?

Why is it important to feel a personal connection to our Judaism?

Rachtza

What would we want to wash away or clean up about ourselves?

Motzi Matzah

In what ways do we feel rich and in what ways do we feel poor?

What artifact would we choose if wanted to commemorate a pivotal moment in our lives?

Marror

What hardships have we endured that still leave their mark?

Does thinking about the hard times we have experienced make us feel weak or strong?

Korech

How do we integrate the opposite aspects of our personalities?

Shulchan Orech

Why are certain foods so meaningful? What memories or feelings do they conjure?

What stories and traditions are important to our family?

Tzafun

What is something about us that we keep hidden and do not share?

What holds us back from being more vulnerable and open?

What potential do we have inside us that has not yet come out?

Barech

What blessings do we have in our lives?

What brachot would we like to wish upon others?

Eliyahu HaNavi

What does Eliyahu HaNavi represent for us?

Is it ok to wish vengeance against those who have wronged us?

Hallel

What are we thankful for in our lives?

If we were given a lifetime achievement award who would we thank in our speech?

Why don’t we actually call those people up to tell them what they have meant to us?

Nirtzah

What are our hopes and dreams for the future?

Is Aliyah in our plans? If not, how do we feel the connection to Eretz Yisrael?

Echad Mi Yodeah and Chad Gadya

Do we ever zoom out and notice the patterns in our lives?

What lessons have we learned that we wish to take with us from this Seder?

Freeways and Freedom

Last night we arrived in Silver Spring, a suburb of our Nation's capital, and our new home. Our road trip lasted 8 days, took us through 8 states, and totaled more than 1500 miles.

Along the way we did a couple of fun Urban Adventure Quests (in Memphis and Nashville), toured Graceland and the Country Music Hall of Fame, earned 3 Junior Ranger badges (Hot Springs National Park, Little Rock Central High, and Great Smoky Mountains National Park), and spent a wonderful Shabbat full of Southern hospitality in Nashville. Oh, and we had a tire blow out along the way as well. That was fun.

By the end we were wearing down and as it turns out I came down with strep, so we pushed ahead and arrived a couple of days earlier than planned in order to celebrate Independance Day with family.

Enjoying a family BBQ and watching the fireworks in Washington on TV I just feel thankful to be here. Thankful to not be driving today. Thankful to be on antibiotics. But more importantly thankful to be with family. And thankful to live in this great country. With all its flaws (many of which are right here in DC) America is an amazing place with amazing people (including the very kind mechanic in Arkansas who sincerely offered to call his wife if we needed help to get to a hotel). Democracy and freedom should never be taken for granted. The fact that we can just get in our car and drive from state to state. The fact that we can all vote for the candidates and issues we believe in. The fact that we all have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These are freedoms we should appreciate. We may have many different political views. But we should always feel like one nation with a common foundation.

Driving through the South reminded me again how big and how beautiful America is (special shout out to the Shenendoah Valley in Virginia). If you have not taken a road trip recently go do it. And try to fit a National Park in to your journey. You do not have to fly around the globe to see beautiful places. There is so much to see here at home.

But it is not just the physical beauty. It is also the beauty of our core values. There is no Blue America and Red America. It is everyone's America. And we have to learn to live with one another in harmony. As the song states:

This land is your land
This land is my land
From the California
To the New York island
From the Redwood forest
To the Gulfstream waters
This land was made for you and me

Hi Yo Silver (Spring)!

Tonight is our last night in Houston after living here for the last 6 years. I sit here in an empty apartment after a long day of movers taking everything I own and loading it onto a truck that we will hopefully see again in Silver Spring, MD in a couple of weeks. And yet, everything that really matters is right here with me, with my amazing wife and kids by my side. Tomorrow we begin a road trip that will take us through Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, and Maryland. We are looking forward to seeing some great things along the way. And we are even more looking forward to living near family after 15 years of living in the South. But before we turn the ignition and start on the next part of our life journey I'd like to take a moment to reflect back on these past 6 years and what they have meant for me.

It has not always been easy being a Principal of an entire school. But what an honor and joy it has been! The kids here in Houston are amazing. And I have so enjoyed getting to watch them grow and develop. On a typical day at work I would be visiting with 4 year olds one moment and talking with seniors the next. I would teach a lower school Mishna class and then daven with the Middle School. I would be doing conflict resolution between two students and then a few minutes later be working on a Chesed program. And over 6 years I got to know so many kids and watch them grow up before my eyes.

There were hard days, of course. Days when it seemed that no matter how hard I worked there was never time to appreciate the progress because it was immediately on to the next task. Days when I would be unable to sleep at night thinking about all the people who needed my help. Days when it felt like my office was a revolving door of unsatisfied people expecting me to solve all their problems. But there were many more good days. Days when I knew that even though there was always more work to be done (Lo Alecha HaMelacha Ligmor) it was ok because the joy was in the process, in the work, in the trial and error. I grew a lot here as well and any time you are in an environment where you are both growing and helping others grow at the same time you know you are in the right place.

Living through 4 floods in 3 years was really hard. We all helped each other through it and it is something we will never forget. But I would be lying if I said I don't get nervous still anytime heavy rain is in the forecast. Life has challenges wherever you go, and we have definitely had our fair share over the years, but every time I realize that we are about to move close to family it gives me such chizuk and excitement.

I started this blog 6 years ago on the eve of our move to Texas. I called it the Rodeo Rabbi and, though I have not written as often as I would have liked, I think I have been able to capture at least some of the highlights of our time as Texans. I am not changing the name of the blog, even though we are moving to Silver Spring. If anything, it reminds me of my dad's love of The Lone Ranger who used to say "Hi Yo Silver!" before riding off into the sunset. Well, every sunset is just a sunrise somewhere else. So while the time has come for the sun to set on our time in Houston we will take a moment to look back at the beautiful view behind us and then head off to our next adventure full of excitement and joy for we have a lot to look forward to.

My Grandparents' 1st Yartzeit

This week marks one year since both of my father's dear parents passed away within 5 days of each other in January 2017. As you can imagine, burying two grandparents in one week, and seeing my father sit shiva for both of his parents at once, was not easy. My grandparents lived long lives and had much to be proud of. Looking back now, a year later, their absence is still painful, but I am filled with wonderful memories and am shaped by the core values they passed down to us. How lucky I was to have two such grandparents and that my own children knew them as well. On this 1st yartzeit here is a summary of some of the reflections I shared about them at their funerals:

Grandpa (Yisrael Ben Haskel Mendel HaLevi) - 25th Tevet

"Mi Ha'Ish Hachefetz Chaim Ohev Yamin Lirot Tov - Who is the man who values his life? The one who loves his days to see the good."

What a life you led, Grandpa. Immigrating from Russia to America, working your way through pharmacy school, marrying the love of your life, fighting in World War Two, owning your own pharmacy on the Lower East Side, and raising your two boys to be committed Jews. It is hard to believe that you are gone, though we were so blessed to have had you for 103 years. 

I learned so much from you. You always taught me to give 110% to whatever I did. You would say, "whatever you decide to study in school and to do for a career, do it to the best of your ability." You showed us what work ethic meant and built Levitt Pharmacy with years of dedication and hard work. You believed deeply in education and were always so proud to hear of our progress. You even used to emphasize to me how important it was to sit up straight with good posture.

You also taught us to be proud Jews, standing up for Israel (your Hebrew name) and for Jews in need.  And of course, you are the reason we are a family of proud Leviim. You and Grandma supported the Chafetz Chaim yeshiva in so many ways. You gave your sons a Jewish education. When I would visit you in NY and we would go to shul together you would always tell me how much it bothered you that people around you in shul were talking. I also remember the army stories you would tell us about having to stand up against an antisemitic officer. You would read the Jewish Press each week and follow Israeli news closely.

I loved hearing your many stories, especially when they would crack you up. I can still hear your laugh. But every lesson had not only a punch line but a lesson as well, usually about doing the right thing.

You loved Grandma more than anything else and saw your self as her protector and provider. And you had such pride in your sons and grandchildren. I hope we will continue to make your proud as well. You used to walk with a bit of a side to side waddle, something I seem to have been the only Levitt to inherit, but when I think of you I think of someone who always carried himself with dignity. I hope I will follow in those footsteps as well.

Every Friday you would take pleasure in giving each of us Brachot over the phone. I can still hear the sing song way you would recite the Yevarechecha. This taught us how much we were loved and how much we should love each other. But the truth is that just having you as our Grandpa was the biggest bracha of all.

Grandma (Minna Bat Sarah) - Rosh Chodesh Shvat

"Minhah (Minna) Meitzar Karati Kah Anani B'merchav Kah - From the narrow place I called out to God who answered me with the Divine Expanse." (Psalm 118:5)

How do we say goodbye to both you and Grandpa in the same week?

You and Grandpa were married for 75 years! He was your protector and you were his Eishet Chayil. You would share one glass of seltzer together. And you would walk arm in arm. And yet, when Grandpa said something you disagreed with you would say with a smile "Irving, don't talk." Oh, can I see that smile of yours and hear that laugh. You loved to laugh and your joy was contagious.

You always cared about others. You were a tireless volunteer for so many organizations. Together with your mother you did so much for the Chofetz Chaim yeshiva (whose sisterhood is named after your mother Sarah Gordon to this day). You also would look after individuals from shul or down the block to make sure they were ok. You would go to many shiurim and had much respect for Rabbis. And wherever you would go you would make new friends. 

But you cared even more about Family. Your parents lived in the apartment above you and you would take care of them. I have many fond memories of driving over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, where all the extended family of uncles, aunts, cousins would gather in your home to celebrate together. Your home was always the place that brought people together. Shalom Bayit was so important to you. I remember you telling us the story of your father Abe (for whom I am named) who gave up his stake in the family business rather than allow it to create a rift in the family. You loved all of us grandchildren and our spouses, and had such joy in all of your grandchildren and great grandchildren (all of us equally and in our own unique way). I am so glad my kids knew you - what a bracha to know your great grandparents.

The way my father and mother showed you Kibbud Av V'em is a model for me to follow. Abba would call you every day and say "Hello Mama Shayna!" And Ima would always look out for you and check in on you.

I always felt close to you Grandma. You would let me be a kid in your house (banging pots, spinning the coffee table...). You would sing, laugh, tell stories. And you were the most amazing cook (Kreplach, Sweet Potato Pie, Cole Slaw...). I used to love walking to shul arm in arm with you on Yom Tov when you would visit. Even last Thursday when you clearly weren't well you gave me a smile and a wink when you came out and saw me sitting at the kitchen table.

"Sheker Hachein V'hevel Hayofi Isha Yirat Hashem Hi Takum." Grandma, you had Yofi and Chen, but you were also a Yirat Hashem. You would bless the shabos food before eating it with the words "Lechavod Shabbes Kodesh," and, although Grandpa usually gets the attention for giving brachot the truth is that you gave the most beautiful heartfelt brachot as well. Any Goodness, Joy and Humor, Emunah that we have comes from you. We will do our best to live our lives and to raise our children to be like you.

Every Havdalah, Grandma, you would close your eyes, say goodbye to shabbos, and bless the coming week with the Gut Fun Avraham...

Grandma, I don't know how to say goodbye to you. All I can say is: 

"Az D'Liba Heiligeh BUBBY Kodesh Geit Avec" - we will do our best to honor you by living lives of "Tzum Maasim Tovim Und Tzum Allen Gutten Amen"

Take My Breath Away

This past summer I had an experience that literally took my breath away. After spending the morning hiking through Rocky Mountain National Park, my family and I drove the twisty road to the Alpine Visitor Center at the top of the park. At 11,796 feet this peak offers stunning views in all directions. At the very top there is a nice lodge with a cafe and gift shop, and everyone in the family wanted to just sit and have a drink while adjusting to the altitude and recovering from the nauseating twists of the road. But as we were leaving the car I saw a hill with a path that looked like it must have a panoramic vista. Unable to convince anyone else to join me I ventured up by myself. There must have been about 300 stairs and about halfway up I was literally out of breath and laboring to keep going. I had to stop a few times in order to catch my breath, but eventually I made it and felt like I was on top of the world. The view was incredible and after a few minutes my breathing slowed down a bit. By the time I made it back down to the lodge I felt much better but it was at least another half hour of sitting and drinking until I felt better.

I’ve been thinking about this idea recently, of having your breath taken away. I’ve thought about it in the weeks after Hurricane Harvey, when we in Houston have been trying to get back into a routine and move forward but often feel like we are short of breath due to the enormity of the trauma. I’ve thought about it as I watch footage from the Florida Keys, Puerto Rico, Mexico, and Las Vegas and am in awe not only of the tragedy but also of the human spirit. And I’ve thought about it over the Yamim Noraim, listening to the Shofar blast which is a prayer with no words, a breathtaking cry.

In Tehillim King David says “Mi Yaaleh Behar Hashem U’Mi Yakum Bimkom Kodsho - Who will go up the mountain of Hashem and who remain standing in His holy place?” I once heard this explained to mean that it is one thing to make the initial climb up the mountain, an achievement in and of itself. But the bigger question is whether the growth, the new perspective, will endure or just be a moment in time, breathtaking though it may be. We live in the Facebook generation where as long as I capture a moment and post it I feel like it is permanent. But the truth is that each day brings new trending topics and it is easy to move on and forget. We might get a yearly reminder in our Facebook memories, but otherwise it’s just a matter of how many likes we can get for the 12 hours or so after we post. Similarly, may people feel inspired on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, but then we fall right back into the same patterns and behaviors again. The real sign of a meaningful Yamim Noraim is how we look and act in the days and weeks that follow.

So that’s the lesson on my mind as we enter the holiday of Sukkot. When something inspires you, when it takes your breath away, sometimes it means you worked hard for it, and other times it comes suddenly and unexpectedly. But in order for that feeling to last we have to keep the moment of inspiration in our minds. Rabbi Akiva Tatz talks about this in his book Living Inspired. The bolt of lightning lasts just a moment. And then we are left in the dark trying to make our way. The only way to actualize the inspiration is to close our eyes and remember the clarity we felt during the flash of light. And it’s true in life. The only way to take that breathtaking moment and to use it to create lasting growth, is to constantly refer back to it for inspiration and purpose.

May our Yamim Noraim resolutions have a lasting impact. May our desire to help others, inspired by so many recent events, become a regular part of our lives and not just during times of tragedy. And may the mountains we climb inspire us to keep climbing higher and higher. It may at times feel hard to catch our breath, but the climb is worth every step.

A Letter To My Daughter

My Dearest Shira,

I cannot believe that you are heading off to Israel for a year of Torah study and Spiritual growth! That fills me with pride and joy! The year and a half that I spent in Yeshiva after High School remains one of the most impactful and transformative times in my life. I hope you will look back on your year (which seems like a long time but believe me will fly right by) with similar nostalgia and appreciation for the rest of your life as well.

It will be weird not to see your beautiful face and to hear your laugh every day. I am going to miss you A LOT. And so will Ima and the twins. But thank God today we can be in touch with What’s App and Skype. When I was your age none of that existed. I had a 10 minute expensive phone call every Sunday and that was it.

I want you to know Shira that you are not now, nor will you ever be, alone. You and I are so similar in so many ways. We do not mind being alone and sometimes even prefer it. But I hope you feel, like I do, that even when you are alone or apart from the ones you love, that you are not alone in the world. Ima and I are always thinking of you (we have been for close to two decades now!) and are just a phone call away. I once heard from Rabbi Feivel Wagner zt”l (who was the Rabbi in Grandma and Grandpa’s shul in Forest Hills) that the reason we do not make a new Birchat HaTorah every time we learn Torah throughout the day (the way we would make a new Mezonot every time we had a snack for example), but rather just one bracha in the morning which covers the entire day, is because even when we are doing something else and not directly engaged in Torah study it is still in our hearts (if not our conscious minds) all the time so there is no Hefsek. In the same way that a parent never stops thinking about (or at least feeling) their child, even when apart from them and doing something else (one day please God, you will understand this), so too Torah is always a part of us 24/7. So just know that even though we will not see each other day to day you will always be on my mind and I will smile knowing that you are dedicating a year of your life to grow spiritually in the Holy Land. You can always call us if you just need someone to listen or to make you laugh. I want to give you space to grow but also want to hear from you as often as possible.

Ima and I are so proud of you. We never could have imagined when you were a little cute baby that you would turn into such an impressive, kind hearted, talented, creative, funny, wise, loving young woman. The way you put others before yourself. The way you are able to think with sophistication and understand multiple perspectives. The way you are able to just create (writing, art, cooking, photography, music…). You never cease to amaze me. But this year is about growing even more. I want you to challenge yourself to grow this year.

I want you to challenge yourself this year to grow in Torah. Take your Torah learning to a whole new level. Study Tanach in a deep way. Learn not only the WHAT and HOW of Halacha, but also the WHY. Learn Mussar so that you can see the deep life wisdom in Judaism and use it as a tool for constant self-improvement. Try to build your skills so that you are such a strong learner that you could be a teacher and give your own shiurim.

I want you to challenge yourself this year to grow Spiritually. Develop a personal connection to Hashem that is beyond the formality of performing mitzvot and reciting prayers. Learn about Hashem and nurture your sense of awe. Develop the connection so that you always feel that Hashem is with you and so that you use Hashem to guide all your decisions in life.

I want you to challenge yourself this year to grow in your Independence. What I mean by that is not to be apart from others, but rather to see how strong you are and learn that you can take care of yourself. As children, our parents take care of us. As parents, we take care of others. You are now in the transition phase where in order for you to learn how to take care of others you 1st have to learn how to take care of yourself. I think you have already made great strides in this area, but being in another country for a year will help you grow this muscle even more. Yes, you will learn how to cook, how to travel, how to get what you need from people with authority. But you will also learn how to manage your emotions and stress, how to get yourself through tough times, how to get medicine if you are not feeling well, etc…

I want you to challenge yourself this year to grow in your Relationships. Push yourself to talk to new people, not only to be kind to them, but also because they may turn out to have something to offer you (friendship). Try to focus on the needs of others and help. Volunteer in the community. Set up chavrutot, go out for dinner, and spend Shabbat with different girls. Go to a family for shabbat that you have never met before. Stay up late at night having bonding talks with your roommates. The friends you make this year could very well end up being lifelong friendships. Pirkei Avot says “Aseh Lecha Rav U’Kenei Lecha Chaver.” So in addition to making great friends, try to find role models and mentors from your teachers that you look up to, admire, and can talk turn to for guidance and advice. My Rebbeim from yeshiva remain to this day a source of inspiration and motivation for me, as well as people to whom I can turn if I need to talk.

In general, push yourself out of your comfort zone, because the more you use those muscles the stronger you will get. I always tell you that you don’t even begin to realize just how strong you are. But the way to keep growing is to exercise. It’s like going up the down escalator. If you stay still you remain at the bottom. If you sprint up you run out of steam and go all the way down. The secret is to push yourself just a little faster than the escalator is going and little by little make your way up. So too in all these areas of growth. Huge unrealistic goals will never get done. Set up mini goals with time limits that you can measure and check them off as you go. After each goal is met set the bar a little higher and begin again. This may sound like you can never relax, but the truth is that it gives life meaning and excitement to always have something you are working towards and to celebrate successes along the way.

You know the song “When you get the chance to sit it out or dance I hope you dance?” Well, I hope that whenever an opportunity comes you grab it. Tell yourself, this opportunity may never come again I do not want to miss out. So even if you are tired, or sick, or upset, or whatever, just go for it anyway. Every once in a while you will say that was a waste. But most of the time you will be so happy you went and you will even feel better by the end.

Try your best to see as much of Israel as you can. Get a map and wherever you go highlight it on the map so you can see where you are. And get a map of Yerushalayim as well and just walk through the city seeing all the different neighborhoods and people. Introduce yourself to people and ask them questions about their lives. Take photos. You could even do a Humans of Yerushalayim thing. It would be so cool to have a person or story of the week that you could write home about. Someone interesting that you encountered that week and what you found interesting about them. Keep a journal of your experiences, the people you meet and places you go. You will love looking back years later and reading it again.

Have a lot of fun but at the same time never lose focus on what you are there for: to figure out the answer to the question “Is there a God and what does He want from me?” Do not just learn Torah when your schedule says you must. Learn more on your own. Come back inspired and loving Torah.

And now a few thoughts about Health and Safety. Number one, be smart. Do not go to dangerous places. Try to travel with others. Ask advice if you are not sure. Do not engage in any risky behaviors. Take good care of yourself (sleep, diet, hydration, sun protection, exercise…) so you feel good. If you need help ask the people at MMY. They are there to help you. But as I said earlier, never forget that you are strong and can get through anything.

So, I have so much more to say, but in the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, “Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape.”

Ima and I love you more than anything in the whole wide world and we always will

You are amazing and much stronger than you even know

This year is going to fly by and is going to be the best year of your life! Enjoy it!

Approach this year as an adventure! Use your Moral Compass and your Spiritual GPS and enjoy the journey! Explore and discover not only new parts of Israel and of Torah, but of yourself as well.

Yesimeich Elokim K’Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, V’Leah. Yevarechecha Hashem V’Yishmerecha. Ya’er Hashem Panav Eilecha Vichunekah. Yisah Hashem Panav Eilecha V’Yasem Lecha Shalom.

Love you with all of my heart!!

Abba