20th Anniversary of 9/11

There are certain moments of your life that stand out and, no matter how long it has been, feel like they just happened. Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11, the day that 2,977 people were murdered in terrorist attacks right here in the United States. 20 years is a long time. The High School students I teach weren't even born yet. And yet, for me it feels like yesterday.

We were living in Manhattan at the time, in Washington Heights. Thank God, we were nowhere near Ground Zero. I was teaching in Moriah Day School and ended up getting stuck in NJ that day, as they closed the George Washington bridge to traffic. My wife was supposed to take the subway to Midtown but stayed home when she saw what was going on. I remember standing in the teacher's room after Tefilla, drinking a coffee, when a colleague came in and said that a plane had flown into the Sears tower in Chicago. Of course, it turned out to be the World Trade Center in NY. There were a lot of rumors flying around at the beginning. Parents started coming to school to pick their children up and take them home. While I do not personally know anyone who was killed that day, I think about the fact that many kids would never see their parents again.

While we were personally safe, it was, and remains to this day, incredibly shocking, sad, and scary. There were so many questions: Who did this? Why? Are there more attacks to come? Will we ever feel safe again? In the days and weeks to come, while Ground Zero continued to burn, and families searched desperately for their loved ones, letters with Anthrax were sent, causing additional panic over possible chemical attacks. Less than a month later the war in Afghanistan began. The world will never be the same.

When I think of 9/11, aside from the incredible sadness I feel for the families of the victims, I think of the courage and heroism of the first responders, who ran towards danger to save lives. And I think of the unity felt by Americans. All the divisions and arguments fell aside in the face of a common enemy/danger. I wish we could somehow feel that unity again today, without needing a tragedy to bring us together. How often we forget that, even with our differences, we are all Americans.

If you have never visited Ground Zero and the 9/11 museum I encourage you to do so. It is powerful. One cannot help but think about things like courage, sacrifice, and the preciousness of life when standing in that spot. Every name on the memorial represents a beautiful story ended in mid sentence.

So this 9/11 let's hug each other a little more. Let's teach and preach love and respect over hate and fear. Let's remember to appreciate the heroes all around us. And let's remember that what unites us far outweighs what divides us.

We Are All Lighthouse Keepers

A few weeks ago, after dropping off our oldest daughter at JFK for her flight to Israel, we went down to the Jersey Shore for a couple of days of Beach Therapy. It was great to sit at the ocean, feeling the breeze and the waves, and ponder life. How does it happen that one day you become new parents, and what seems like a few days later (but is really 22 years later!) your child is making Aliyah and moving halfway around the world?

The truth is that a lot of life is like that. You put one foot in front of the other, without even looking up to see where you are or how far you have come, only to realize eventually that you have travelled a great distance.

I was reminded of this on the 2nd day of our trip when we explored Cape May, NJ and visited the Cape May Lighthouse. Climbing the 199 steps to the top was harder than it sounded, especially with people going in both directions up and down the narrow winding stairs. Every 30 or so steps there was a landing with a window, and we took advantage of several of them to catch our breath and see how far we had progressed. When we finally reached the top the 360 degree view was amazing. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be the lighthouse keeper, climbing those steps several times a day, with supplies and food, to keep the light shining.

Reflecting on this, I am reminded that in a certain sense we are all lighthouse keepers. We dedicate our lives to living a certain set of core values and beliefs and do everything we can to keep those values burning brightly to help others navigate their journeys as well.

For the last 5 years or so I have been learning Mishna, almost every day, with my twins. For Rina's Bat Mitzvah we completed Seder Moed. For Simcha's Bar Mitzvah we completed Seder Nezikin. And now we have completed Seder Nashim. Each day we learn one or two Mishnayot, for 5-10 minutes, and little by little we are making our way through Shas. We have now completed 1944 Mishnayot (out of 4192 total) and have completed 3 of the 6 Sidrei Mishna. Our goal is to learn the next 3 Sedarim (Zeraim, Kodshim, and Taharot) over the next 4 years (we have 2248 Mishnayot to go). It is not always convenient or fun to learn the daily Mishna. Sometimes one of us doesn't feel well, is overwhelmed with work, or just isn't in the mood. But we keep at it, rarely missing a day. Each time we complete another Masechet we pause, like we did on those lighthouse landings, to catch our breath and see how far we have come. But then we keep going. I would like to think that the more we learn the higher we are climbing, and that the view from the top will make it all worthwhile.

So what's the message? Set goals and start climbing. It doesn't matter what the goals are. That is up to you. Just choose something that matters to you so that you will keep at it even when things get tough. And then don't worry about where you are on the journey or how far you have left to go. Just set a goal and a pace, and keep at it, one foot in front of the other. Along the way find space and time to pause and reflect on how far you have come (rather than how far you have left to go). And when you get to the top take a few moments to reflect on the incredible journey.

Aliyah!!!

A Letter To My Daughter On The Day Of Her Aliyah - August 3rd, 2021

 

Shira, 

How do I begin to tell you how proud I am of you? You are sitting on an El AL, Nefesh B'Nefesh flight, on your way to Eretz Yisrael to make Aliyah!  You have dreamed of this day for many years, inspired by your Religious Zionist education and your love of Israel. And now the day is finally here! You are actually moving to the Holy Land! Can you believe it? I can't get the song We Are Home by Kippalive out of my head!

When I was 3 years old my parents moved to Israel. I lived there until age 6 and have never stopped dreaming of one day returning home. My parents, your Grandy and Papa, told me that as the plane was about to land in Israel I turned to them and said "are we going to see Hashem now?" Of the many reasons Ima and I are so excited for you, one of them is that you will be starting a life in the holiest place on earth. You are literally making Aliyah, going up in holiness. Yes, you will still need to deal with the day to day things, like laundry, and shopping, and the Misrad HaPnim. But never forget that every step you take is a mitzvah! You are fulfilling Mitzvat Yishuv Eretz Yisrael and living a life that so many of your ancestors have only dreamed of!

We are proud of you for following your dreams. It shows character and courage. And it gives us great nachat to see you go for the things that matter to you. You are talented, creative, and smart, and that will help you a lot. But your character and courage will help you the most.

Do you remember when you were a little girl and I convinced you to go on the Aerosmith Rock n' Roller Coaster in Disney? You were so scared and at the last minute, as we were about to enter the ride (after waiting in line for a long time), you begged me to let you leave. Somehow I convinced you to hold my hand and enjoy the ride. About a minute later, after several upside down loops and twists, I stumbled off the ride breathless thinking, "what have I done? I have scarred my child for life!" And you turned to me with a huge smile and said "that was awesome! Can we go again?!!"

I know that this journey is also a little scary. You can't predict every twist and turn, and there will be ups and downs. But when you feel scared just remember that you have signed up for the most amazing ride in the world! And that throughout your life, whenever you have gone for something that made you feel a little scared, you have always been glad you did so. Remember also that although we will not always be right next to you holding your hand physically, we will always be holding you from a distance and will be there for you to support you in any way you need. We will always be your Abba and Ima and will always love you.

I am proud that you will be serving as a madricha in a seminary this year, helping others find their connection to Hashem and to Israel. And I am excited to see how your career in graphic design (or whatever path you follow) develops. On days that you doubt yourself remember that you are awesome and that a million people believe in you and will do anything to help you on your path. And also remember that you will find the most satisfaction and joy in life from showing others that you believe in them and helping them on their path.

So enjoy this flight! Feel the pride of sitting with hundreds of other Olim Chadashim! Get excited for Aroma Cafe, Marzipan Rugelach, real Falafel/Shawarma, walking the streets of Yerushalayim, davening at the Kotel, learning in the Beit Midrash, shopping at Machane Yehuda, and so much more...

We will Zoom and What's App with you as often as we can (that was a hint). And we will always be checking our watches, thinking of what time it is in Israel, and thinking of you. I will hope to connect with you each Erev Shabbat to give you a bracha, but I think you know that I have been sending you brachot your entire life and will never stop doing so. So for now, I wish you Health, Safety, Strength, Happiness, Love, Laughter, Friendship, Creativity, Growth, Inspiration, Appreciation, and so much more… May Hashem watch over you, protect you, and guide you always:

יברכך ה’ וישמרך

יאר ה’ פניו אליך ויחנך

ישא ה’ פניו אליך וישם לך שלום

Kol HaKavod Shira! We love you a million and grow prouder of you every day! May this be the beginning of an amazing next chapter in your journey!

Love,

Abba

Graduation Nachat

How do you define the word Nachat (or Naches)? 

Pride? Pleasure? Satisfaction?

Jewish parents often express the Nachat they derive from watching their children grow up to be good people with a strong Jewish identity and a desire to contribute to the world.

But sometimes Nachat can become more like bragging rights. "Your son is a Lawyer? Very nice. My daughter is a Doctor!"

I think Nachat is less about Pride (though there is certainly a pride a parent feels seeing their child develop their potential) and more about Peace of Mind. [Nachat may be related to the word LaNuach - to rest] Knowing that your child has internalized the values with which you raised them, and seeing them take off and fly, allows a parent to breathe and to feel a sense of calm that, no matter what challenges life brings, all will be well with them, B'ezrat Hashem.

Yesterday we had the special Zechut of watching our oldest daughter Shira graduate college from Yeshiva University. It was very moving, especially given the challenging circumstances of learning during Covid. We have watched her develop over the years and it is truly amazing to see her emerge into this incredible person with so much talent, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence.

It was also very special to see her graduate from Yeshiva University, where we both studied and graduated as well. In addition to inculcating an integrated Torah U'Maddah worldview in their students, YU also allows them to feel their Jewish pride as well as their connection and responsibility to Am Yisrael. It was so moving seeing the entire student body erupt into dancing while singing "Simcha L'Artzecha V'Sason L'Irecha." This connection to Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael is celebrated and emphasized, and the speeches at graduation talked about Kiddush Hashem, Eretz Yisrael, and each person doing their chelek to bring the Geula.

On a personal level, it was so touching to see friends whose children were also graduating from all parts of our past: Boston, Washington Heights, Boca Raton, Houston, and Silver Spring.

It is a little surreal to see Shira graduating college. It feels like we were just students at YU yesterday. [I guess I am still a student, as I just finished my 3rd year of my Doctoral studies in Educational Leadership at Azrieli.]

This summer Shira is planning to spread her wings and fly even further, by making Aliyah! We are so proud of her in so many ways!

So many family members, teachers, and friends have helped Shira grow into the person she is becoming. We thank each of you for your part on her journey! And we thank Hashem for looking after her as she takes her next steps on her path.

So yes, we feel a great deal of Nachat from Shira (and her siblings). Because we know that, whatever happens in life, she has the values, the mindset, and the intelligence to make the best of everything, to look to help wherever she can, and to feel Hashem in her life at every moment.

Mazal Tov!!!

Inauguration Day

A Tale of Three Wednesdays

Wed 1/6/21 - Attack on the US Capitol

Wed 1/13/21 - Impeachment of President Trump

Wed 1/20/21 - Inauguration of President Biden

Wow! The Capitol building has seen a lot over the last 15 days! I will leave it to the pundits to share perspectives on the politics of our country right now. But I do want to take a moment to reflect on the concept of a peaceful transfer of power. We take so many things for granted in life and in America. But there are places in the world where not everyone has the right to vote, where rulers maintain control for decades, and where dissent, disagreement, and protest are crimes. For all our challenges and divides, we should remember that what makes America great is that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and perspective. [What we are not entitled to is violence and anarchy]. We educate ourselves about the issues and the candidates, we vote at the ballot box, and then we hope for the best for whoever wins the election. It is not about any person or party. It is about the American People. It is about the American Democracy. 

Every four years, when we get to Inauguration Day, it always gets me. The pomp and circumstance, the songs, and flags, the traditions and ceremonies. It always feels hopeful, like Opening Day of the baseball season, even if the person in office is not the one for whom I voted. Because the very act of inaugurating a President signifies that the Union is still strong, that Democracy is still alive and well.  As the confetti is swept away and we get back to the daily business of trying to keep America strong and safe, I wonder how long this inspiration and feeling of unity and hope will last. Will we descend right back to division, cynicism, opposition, and mistrust? Or will we debate the issues, try to understand each other's perspectives, fears, and hopes, and then work together to help people? We have all heard politicians from both sides say things like "these are not Red states and Blue states, these are the United States." But I feel like so many of them, on both sides, are so worried about fundraising and reelection that they often lack the courage to vote for their convictions. And so many of us, average Americans, fall too easily into an Us vs. Them mentality where compromise,  cooperation, and unity are not the goals; winning is. I know not everyone feels inspired on Inauguration Day. There are elections where our candidate wins and others where they lose. And it can feel disappointing or scary if our view does not prevail. But somehow I always feel it on Inauguration Day, no matter who wins, because I believe in American at its best; not its worst.

It will take time and hard work to start to heal this country right now. We need to heal from the Pandemic. We need to heal from the Political and Social Justice  unrest. We need to heal our economy. But I choose Hope over Despair. I choose Unity over Division. I choose Pulling closer over Pushing away. May Hashem watch over this country and guide its leaders to make wise decisions that will bring healing, unity, and prosperity to all. May we appreciate this great Democracy and never take it for granted. May we seek to listen and understand rather than argue and convince. And may we remember that we are all Americans.

Happy Anniversary

Dear Kids (This blog is really for my kids to read when they are older),

I know that you know this already but I want to tell you again how much I love your Ima. Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary! We met when I was 3 and Ima was 1 (no photos to prove it!) thanks to our parents meeting and becoming friends in Eretz Yisrael. And we reconnected 16 years later when I stopped in London and stayed with the Shaffers on the way back from Yeshiva. Your Savta suggested that Ima skip school that day to accompany me on my double decker tour of London. We didn't know each other and felt kind of awkward, but off we went exploring The Tower of London, Trafalgar Square, and Big Ben. We quickly clicked and I told someone back home that summer that I was going to marry that girl one day. We were so lucky to find each other, a girl from London and a boy from Boston, and it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

You see, your Ima is not only the best Ima in the world, an amazing educator, a friend to so many, and someone who is always Osek B'tzarchei Tzibbur B'Emunah. She is that and so much more. But for me she always has been and always will be my best friend. Ima is kind, humble, creative, supportive, strong, giving, and much much more. When no one else believes in you, or when you doubt yourself, she is there to remind you how special you are. She always puts others first and makes everyone she speaks to feel like they are exactly who she wanted to be speaking with at that moment (it's not an act - she really does!)

God knows we have been through a lot in our 23 years of marriage. But through it all I have been so blessed to have your Ima at my side. I thank Hashem for this unbelievable gift every single day. I wish for you guys not only to realize what an incredible, loving Ima you have, and to try to be as much like her as you can, but also to one day find someone to share your life journey with who will love you and be there for you like Ima is for me. If you do you will have the most incredible journey of love and friendship.

Happy Anniversary Elisheva! Here's to many more, B'Ezrat Hashem, happy and healthy years to come...

וַיִּקַּ֨ח אַהֲרֹ֜ן אֶת־אֱלִישֶׁ֧בַע בַּת־עַמִּינָדָ֛ב אֲח֥וֹת נַחְשׁ֖וֹן ל֣וֹ לְאִשָּׁ֑ה
(Shemot 6:23) 

I'm Scared Too

Normally, the beginning of a new school year would bring its usual mix of excitement, anticipation, and nervousness. This is true for both students and teachers (parents too). But in the age of Coronavirus I think it is fair to say that many approach this new school year with even stronger emotions and anxiety than usual. There are many opinions out there about whether schools should open in person or through distance learning. The point of this post is not to debate that question. But I do want to capture this moment in time so that years from now my kids will be able to look back and get a sense of what it felt like. I also want to say before I get into it that this post is an attempt to reflect on some of the questions and feelings that I think many may be going through in communities all over. It is not meant as a commentary on any specific community or school. I am proud to work at a school that is full of reflective and supportive educators. And truthfully, all our schools are blessed with caring and thoughtful people. This is a crazy time and we are all trying our best to figure out how to navigate these choppy waters. To be honest, I am scared to write this blog. Vulnerability, though often praised as a virtue, can bring judgement from others. Despite this risk, I think the potential benefit of others feeling seen and validated makes it a risk worth taking. So here goes... Dear Student, I know you are entering a school year feeling scared. You have a lot of questions on your mind. Will I be safe if we go back to the building? Will I be lonely if we do not? Will anything feel normal anytime soon? When will I be able to just hang out with my friends, or go to a restaurant, or sit together on the floor with our backs to our lockers? Will I have to sit staring at a screen all day long, and then be assigned more homework on the screen to do at night? Will my classmates judge me when they see my zoom background or bedroom? Will my teacher be able to see me over the computer if I have something to ask or share? Will my teacher be able to "see" me and get to know me if we are not in person? Will I get enough exercise if I sit at my desk at home all day? Will I actually learn everything I need to learn this year? Will I get help if I am struggling? Will I miss out on all the fun things I was looking forward to, like sports, Shabbatonim, school trips, and Color War? And if we do go back to the building, will it feel normal? Will I see any classmates outside of my learning pod? Will I be allowed to leave class here and there just to blow off some steam? Will wearing a mask all day make it hard to breath, to talk, to concentrate? Will I be able to understand what the teacher is saying behind their mask? Will anything this year feel normal? Those are all very fair questions. And they (and you) deserve an honest response. The truth is, I don't have all the answers. Usually parents and teachers are supposed to answer your questions. And we can talk about some of the technical answers of how things will work and what we can do together to have a great year. But I get the sense that you are not really looking for a specific answer to a specific question. I think what you may really be seeking is validation. Is it ok for me to feel nervous, anxious, and scared? And the answer to that is definitively, YES. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this. After all, I want to reassure you and comfort you; not make you more nervous. But the truth is that I'm scared too. I am also wondering about how I will succeed this year and how I will stay safe. Teaching is not easy even under normal circumstances. The idea of meeting brand new students each year, getting to know each one individually, and figuring out how to help facilitate their learning and growth is a lot harder than it sounds. When people ask me "what do you teach?" I don't answer "Tanach." I answer "I teach x number of amazing young people and try to help them on their journey of self-discovery and growth." This is what makes education such an amazing calling. It is complex, interesting, and meaningful. But one thing it is not is easy. And teaching in the age of Coronavirus is even harder. How will I get to know my students through a screen or a mask? How will I make sure that I am safe if we return to the building? How will I create opportunities for my students to learn in Chavruta or work collaboratively if they must stay 6 feet apart and if some choose to stay learning from home even after we return to the building? How will I assess what you have learned and give you meaningful feedback that will be helpful? How will I develop not only your Tanach skills, but your Social-Emotional learning competencies as well? How will I help you feel inspired and connected spiritually? How will I feel comfortable and relaxed if we are in the building? How will I balance work and family if teaching from home? I'm sure if we wanted to we could each add many more questions to our lists. And if we invited parents into this conversation they would have a whole list of their own questions as well (I know this because I do have lots of questions as a parent this year, even more than usual). While we are at it, we could invite the school leadership team to join us. I guarantee you they have a million questions as well, including how can we keep everyone safe, learning, and happy, knowing that whatever we decide will please some and disappoint others? Here's what it boils down to: what we are all going through now is not normal. And none of us have all the answers. But, and this is key, this year can still be an incredible year. If we are a little more patient, and understanding, and caring with each other. If we communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully. If we realize that we are all in this together and are on the same team. I'm not going to tell you not to feel scared. I'm scared too. What I want to tell you though is that a) it's ok to feel that way, b) you are not alone, c) I am here if you want to talk, and d) we can do this. I hope and pray that we will find a vaccine as soon as possible and we can get back to the normal issues of life. But we do not have to wait for that to have an incredible year. This year will also have lots of fun and funny moments. This year, even while practicing social distancing, we can grow closer than ever through this shared experience. This year, we can grow through adversity and build skills like grit and resilience that will help us for the rest of our lives. This year will make us stronger, kinder, wiser, and braver. This year we will learn together. We will laugh together. We will grow together. I'll make you a deal. If you are having a tough day just give me a signal and I will understand. If you want to talk about it I am always here for you. If you don't want to talk, that is ok too. You see, being brave doesn't mean pretending that you aren't scared. It means going forward even when you are scared. One step at a time, one foot after the other. And you are not alone. We are all on this journey together.

A Bar Mitzvah To Remember

When I was growing up in Newton, MA our Modern Orthodox shul did not yet have its own building. For a few years we actually rented space in the gymnasium of a church. And so, whenever I am invited to play the game Two Truths And A Lie I always win because the statement "I had my bar mitzvah in a church" doesn't sound true.

This weekend we celebrated the Bar Mitzvah of our son Simcha and he too will one day be able to tell people about the unusual Bar Mitzvah he had over Zoom. Like many others these days, we were unable to celebrate this special occasion in person due to the social distancing required to stay safe from the Coronavirus. Although this was hard for many reasons, including not being able to celebrate with friends and family, and Simcha not being able to receive an Aliyah and leyn his Torah portion in shul, it was still such a special and meaningful weekend. Let me share some of the things we did so that years from now, when telling his kids about his Bar Mitzvah, Simcha will be able to share the details.

Simcha is an amazing young man. He is smart and funny and kind. In addition, Simcha and his twin sister Rina were miracle babies and, while every Bar Mitzvah is so special, this one is especially meaningful. We heard from several people this week who reached out saying how they will never forget the twins' birth and how special that was.

To prepare for his Bar Mitzvah Simcha did a bunch of things. Firstly, he learned with his Uncle Matt who taught him how to leyn. Simcha is a natural and picked it up beautifully. He never needed to be persuaded to practice his leyning and he enjoys it and is good at it. Simcha learned his entire Parsha (Shelach) and Haftara. Simcha also learned about his parsha in school this year and wrote a beautiful Dvar Torah connecting the Mitzvah of Tzitzit, which appears at the end of the parsha, with the Cheit HaMeraglim, which appears at the beginning. He focused on the word "Taturu," which appears in both sections, and developed the theme of looking for the good rather than the bad. Simcha did a Chesed project in which he baked cakes and cookies for Shavuot (he loves baking) and donated the proceeds to Yad Yehuda. Simcha taught himself Hilchot Tefillin using a workbook of questions based on Rav Eider's book. Finally, Simcha and Rina learned Mishna with me all year long, completing the entire Seder Nezikin (last year we learned Seder Moed). That's 685 Mishnayot! Suffice it to say, Simcha put a lot of prep into his Bar Mitzvah!

While we were hoping that maybe, somehow, we would be able to at least have a small minyan over Shabbat where Simcha could leyn, it wasn't in the cards. So instead we tried to make the entire week feel special, culminating in the big zoom celebration on Sunday. Our family prepared beautiful surprises such as a Mazal Tov Simcha yard sign, a Simcha Standard newsletter, a Shabbat scavenger hunt, a Tefillin cake, and much more. 

On Friday morning (his Bo Bayom) Simcha put on Tefillin with a bracha for the 1st time. Simcha received the incredible gift of his great grandfather's Tefilllin from my father, which is so meaningful. Every time he wears them you can literally see the Mesorah being passed down through the generations. Simcha also has the most beautiful Tefillin bag, lovingly designed and crafted by his Savta, with the pasuk "Ivdu Et Hashem B'Simcha Bou Lefanav Birnana" on it. We invited Simcha's friends to our driveway where they could sign a poster for Simcha, say a quick hello and mazal tov in person, enjoy a Krispy Kreme donut, and receive a goody bag with mini basketball hoops and a Seudah Shlishit Slow Shira booklet that we designed in Simcha's honor (he loves Slow Shira).

We also hosted a family only zoom on Friday in which grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins could share nice words about Simcha (a family tradition normally held after Kiddush but before lunch at family simchas). Simcha's sister Shira had also organized a really fun Simcha song in which many family members filmed themselves singing different parts of the song. And Simcha leyned Rishon and shared how much each of his family members means to him. We also presented Simcha with a booklet of life advice letters written to him by many family members called Pirkei Avot V'Imahot Shel Simcha. In order that family who could not be with us over Shabbat feel connected we sent out a Simcha themed Mad Libs for them to read at the table, as well as a mini shiur about the concept of Simcha. And of course, the Slow Shira booklet. Right before Shabbat we took some really nice photos of the 5 of us in the backyard. [And we did a few more nice ones in shul Sunday morning].

To make Shabbat feel special we let Simcha choose his favorite foods for the menu and we decorated the house. We also went by ourselves into our empty shul on Shabbat morning so that Simcha could read his entire parsha from a Sefer Torah. Right after Shabbat we invited family and Simcha's classmates to a Havdalah and Kahoot game about Simcha, which was really fun.

Which brings us to the big event on Sunday. One of the silver linings of this unusual bar mitzvah was the ability to include people from all over the world who would not otherwise have been able to celebrate with us. It was really incredible to see friends from every stop on our journeys, including London, Israel, Boston, New York, New Jersey, Florida, Texas, and Maryland. As people logged on to the zoom we had a playlist of songs with the word Simcha playing and a Sim's Club logo with the schedule of what would take place on the zoom meeting. Elisheva welcomed everyone and shared how special this moment is for us. Our shul Rabbi, Rabbi Brahm Weinberg, shared some inspiring words of Torah with Simcha. Simcha then leyned Shevii and delivered a beautiful Dvar Torah. We then showed a really fun video where family members and Simcha's classmates wished him mazal tov in a cool way. We asked them to send in videos where they opened their refrigerator, with their phone already inside recording, and took something unusual out. People were really creative with the types of items they took out and SImcha loved it! After that Simcha and Rina and I learned the final mishna of Pirkei Avot and made a siyum on Seder Nezikin. I had a hard time holding it together, as I know how many hours we put into this project. I am so impressed and proud of them for this tremendous accomplishment at such a young age. And, bli neder, with Hashem's help, we hope to keep on going and, B'ezrat Hashem maybe even make a Siyum Hashas before their High School graduation in 5 years. We have completed 2 sedarim and have 4 to go! We finished with an unbelievable Simcha photo montage put together by Shira in which we saw Simcha's amazing growth over the years from the cutest baby to the incredible young man he is today.

Overall, I think Simcha felt really good about his Bar Mitzvah. It still wasn't the same as having it in person. But he understands why and feels good about what he accomplished. We have this vision of a Shabbat, at some point down the road, in which we can celebrate all these boys and girls who have not been able to celebrate their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in person. But for now, we are happy that we were still able to mark this special turning point, share it with so many friends, and spotlight this incredible young man. We thank all the family, friends, and teachers who have helped Simcha become who he is today, and we ask that Hashem continue to look out for him, guide him, inspire him, and support him for many years to come.

May the day come soon when we can all celebrate together with a hug and a L'chayim. In the meantime, it is enough to know that so many people care and that Simcha is on the right derech to live a life of purpose. Mazal Tov!

Chazak Chazak V'Nitchazek

This Shabbat will be the 10th straight Shabbat at home. With the Corona virus still spreading, our shuls and schools have been closed, and it will be a while still until we can enjoy a Shabbat morning hearing Kriat HaTorah, learning from an uplifting drasha, and sharing a Lechayim at Kiddush. While it has been nice to have more family time, I think we all look forward to being able to reconnect with each other in person.

The number of deaths just in the U.S. is staggering and tragic. As of this writing the reported number is just under 86,000 people. The emotional and economic impact is tremendous as well. I think we all believe that ultimately the world will find a vaccine and treatment. But we wonder, how long will that take, how many will die in the meantime, and how different will our lives be when we emerge?

One inspiring video that I want to share looks for some positive developments that could come from all this, if we learn and grow from this experience:

https://youtu.be/Nw5KQMXDiM4 

I don't know about you, but I suspect that I am not the only one who goes through moments when I feel optimistic and hopeful and other moments when I am anxious and worried. I have learned over the years that this is (for me at least) a normal way of processing challenges and growing stronger. Whatever challenges we have endured in our lives (Pregnancy losses, Hurricanes, Diabetes, Floods...) this has been a common coping strategy for me. And yet, I always have to remind myself that it is ok to feel whatever I am feeling and that, like a runner running a marathon, there will be times of exhaustion and doubt and other times of strength and confidence.

I am thinking about all this as we enter a Shabbat when we receive the mitzvah to give Chizuk ( VaYikra 25:35 - "V'Hechetzakta Bo") and when we will finish reading Sefer VaYikra and recite the words "Chazak Chazak V'Nitchazek." Why do we say this expression with the word Chazak (strong) three times? Maybe the answer is that there are times that we naturally feel Chazak. But when we don't, we need to say Chazak again and remind ourselves to hang in there. It's like the pasuk says "Kaveh El Hashem Chazak V'Yaametz Libecha VeKaveh El Hashem." Hope to God, strengthen your heart, and hope to God. When you enter the gap where you start to doubt and worry, close your eyes and remember that Hashem is the source of strength, and your hope will be renewed.

This worldwide challenge will leave tremendous pain and loss. But it will also lead to amazing goodness and kindness. To people sacrificing for each other. To a world that learns how to look out for one another. To people appreciating the little things. To us all reflecting on what really matters to us in life and hopefully letting the rest go by.

We are all in this together. Separate, but united. When you feel down or lonely, just know that you are stronger than you think. And if you send me a telepathic message I will send you a bit of Chizuk to help you remember just how strong you are. I hope you will do the same for me.

Gesher Tzar Me'od

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the famous song, based on a teaching of Rebbe Nachman MiBreslov:

כל העולם כלו גשר צר מאד והעקר לא לפחד כלל

The whole entire world is a very narrow bridge But the main thing is not to fear at all

During this Coronavirus Pandemic the entire world feels at once both deeply connected and extremely isolated. On the one hand this has reminded us how much we impact one another globally, how we are all connected to each other no matter the distance, the language, or the worldview. On the other hand we are told to stay home and practice social distancing. We are unable to pray together or learn together in person. But at the same time our virtual connections (thank you Zoom) are building bridges to people and places with whom we would not normally interact. We are witnessing incredible acts of bravery, kindness, and gratitude. And at the same time, a simple act like going to the supermarket can bring anxiety and avoidance. There is an aspect to life these days that feels like a גשר, a bridge. And there is an aspect that feels צר, like being closed in in a narrow space.

What does Rebbe Nachman mean when he tells us not to have any fear? How can one not be afraid right now when you see the numbers growing at an alarming rate every day? We wonder how long this will last, when things will get back to normal, whether normal will even be the same as it once was. Will this pass after a few months or will it keep coming back? Will we ever be able to get together with friends and family again? When will we be able to get back to school and work? When will sports resume? When will we be able to hear Kriat HaTorah in a minyan with a Sefer Torah? When life does eventually get “back to normal” will people appreciate and help each other more than they used to, or will we retreat into silos looking out only for our immediate circles?

I wrote about this once before, in one of my 1st ever blog posts, back in 2012, but it bears repeating. Any time I have brought teens on an Israel trip, when we go to the Kotel (especially if it is on a Friday night) I ask them to close their eyes and imagine a bridge going all the way from the spot where they daven in their shul at home to this place and time at the Kotel right now. And I tell them that I want them to really visualize this bridge and feel the power of the moment they are now experiencing, feeling so close to Hashem and seeing so many different types of people all connected to one another. So that the next week, when they are back home, they can close their eyes again and cross this invisible bridge back to the Kotel to feel the same incredible connection and inspiration even from home. To be honest, I do not always remember to close my eyes at Kabbalat Shabbat and visualize this bridge. But whenever I do I always feel that connection and inspiration.

I wonder if maybe the secret to understanding Rebbe Nachman’s teaching about fear, which might help us during these scary times, is to build that invisible bridge. Right now things might feel narrow and scary. But we have to remember that we come from people who have crossed narrow bridges before us and come out on the other side. And we have to remind ourselves that if we put one foot in front of the other, even though this bridge in front of us is narrow, and long, and wobbly, we will eventually get to the other side as well.

So rather than give in to the פחד, the fear and worry, I invite us all to close our eyes and imagine that invisible bridge. Imagine what it will look like on the other side. Will we have grown from this ordeal or stayed the same? Will we be more grateful, more giving, more sensitive to the needs of others? Will we each do our part to make this world a little better? Will we care about what happens to others and not just ourselves? When I close my eyes and cross this bridge I imagine a world that feels more connected and caring, having gone through such an ordeal together.

Tonight is Pesach. While we sit in our homes recounting the exodus of long ago it is not hard to imagine our ancestors having similar conversations. The Hebrew word for Egypt, מצרים, comes from the same shoresh, צר. Our ancestors were also stuck in a narrow place and scared. Until one day Hashem led them out and built an invisible bridge for them across the Red Sea. So even though our Seders this year might have fewer people than usual, in some ways I feel more connected to Klal Yisrael and to the World than ever before. I imagine a bridge from my house to each of yours, until we are all connected like a web. As I sing the songs and taste the Matzah I will picture you doing the same and feel connected. May this Pesach bring us the freedom to break out of our narrow world views and see the bigger picture. May Hashem watch over us and send healing and hope. When we open the door for Eliyahu may he greet us all with a vision of a brighter future. And may our prayer of “Next Year in Jerusalem” herald the coming of Mashiach very very soon. All it takes is for each of us to build that invisible bridge.