Turning 50: Aging or Saging?

When I was a kid, my mother would ask me each year on my birthday, “do you feel a year older today?” Well, today is my 50th birthday. And not only do I feel a year older; I feel a decade older. Though it’s just a number, 50 sounds so much older to me than 49. I’m no longer in my 40’s. B’ezrat Hashem, I will have many more happy and healthy 

years to look forward to. But with life expectancy for the average male in the United States 76.5, I find myself reflecting on my life journey: the things I have experienced and accomplished so far and all the things I still have planned.

In the Torah, time is measured in 50 year increments. After 7 Shmitah cycles (7x7 totaling 49 years), year 50 is Yovel, a Jubilee. In Eretz Yisrael this means that all land returns to its ancestral owners and all slaves go free (VaYikra 25:10, from which the verse on the Liberty Bell is taken). So in a sense, turning 50 is a chance to reset and start again. The verse also tells us “וְקִדַּשְׁתֶּם אֵת שְׁנַת הַחֲמִשִּׁים,” we are to sanctity our 50th year.

On the one hand, in the Torah 50 is the age when Leviyim like me retire (BaMidbar 4:47). Rashi (BaMidbar 4:2) explains that at 50 you start to lose your strength. Retirement at 50 does sound tempting. But it also kind of feels like it’s saying you’re washed up. 

On the other hand, the Midrash does say that retiring at 50 was only from physical labor, but once they entered the Land of Israel, Leviyim could continue singing in the Mishkan as long as their voice was strong. And our Sages (Pirkei Avot 5:21) see age 50 as a time when a person can use their voice to have an even more meaningful kind of impact. Describing the stages of life, Yehuda Ben Teimah says “בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה - At 50 you are able to give counsel.” So 50 may be a time to RETIRE from physical labor, but it also is a time to ASPIRE to sharing what I’ve learned through Mentorship and Advice.

What is the source for this idea that 50 is the stage of life that is most suited to giving advice? When the Torah tells Leviyim that they retire at 50 (BaMidbar 8:25) it also says “וְשֵׁרֵת אֶת אֶחָיו - he will serve his brethren.” The Bartenura commentary on this Mishna explains this to mean “שֶׁיִּתֵּן לָהֶם עֵצָה - that he will give them advice.” Rashi explains that this is due to the lessons learned from 50 years of life experience. Meiri adds that it is not only life experience, but also the intelligence gained over the years. Abarbanel adds a 3rd benefit of age: Yishuv HaDaat (Peace of Mind).

I guess this means that even while I still have many goals of my own, this milestone signifies the beginning of a shift where my work is to help those younger than me on their journeys, just as my mentors have helped me.

A chassidic tale adds color to this mission:

“It was told on Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Barditchav that on his fiftieth birthday, his chasidim made a kidush for him for his reaching the age of counsel (50). The Rabbi told them: it is indeed written that "at fifty years of age for counsel". However, am I really wiser than you today? Am I wiser than I was a year ago?! Nevertheless, it was not for nothing that the Tanna wrote: "at fifty years of age for counsel". What does this mean? I will give you a parable to what is this comparable: to a man who lost his way in the forest. Slowly, slowly the day turns towards nightfall and he is still without advice (how to find his way out). He walks here and there confused as to where to go. Suddenly he sees from faraway a man walking towards him. As the man approaches, it is revealed that the man is of gruff appearance. His beard is grown, his hair is long and wild, his clothing is crumpled. It is recognizable by his appearance that he has been in the forest for a long time. The first man is happy to see the gruff stranger and runs toward him: "it is a miracle that I found you before nightfall. Perhaps you can show me how to get out of here?" The veteran wanderer answers him sadly: if I knew how to get out of here, I would not stay a minute longer. It has already been several long months that I am seeking the answer of how to get out of here. However, in one thing I can help you. From my experience, I can tell you where it is dangerous to enter, which path goes nowhere. Come, give me your hand and from now on we will go together. Rabbi Yitzchak of Barditchav ends off: to advise you what is good I do not know. But in this I can advise you: I can tell you what is not good to do. I recognize the paths which do not lead to a good end. This is the meaning of "at 50 years of age for counsel" - what the intellect fails to do, at least time succeeds in doing.”

I may not have all the answers, as I’m still trying to figure out this life myself, but I’ve learned enough to be a useful walking partner to help others avoid some of the pitfalls and mistakes I’ve made along the way.

As a kid I used to count down the days until my birthday. But now I find myself more interested in counting up. Like the Sefirat HaOmer period in which we now find ourselves counting 49 days from Pesach to Shavuot, culminating in Matan Torah on Day 50, I see my life as building year after year, as I work towards my life’s work. When I was younger I cared about achievement and accomplishment, wanting to be seen a certain way by others. Now, as David Brooks describes in The Road to Character, I find myself more interested in what my eulogy will one day say than in what my resume says.

I still have many goals. It’s fun to look back, but I have much to look forward to as well. Responding to a visitor that expressed worry about getting older, the Lubavitcher Rebbe said:

“‘How is it possible that at the age of eighty, Moses began to lead such a complex people like the Jews?’ wondered the Rebbe. He continued to explain: ‘Because Moses never looked back at what he had already done. Instead, he looked ahead—at what else needed to be done. ‘Anyone who looks at what needs to be done is young! Whoever looks back at what he did prior will always be old,’ concluded the Rebbe, and he again wished me ‘blessing and success.’”

It’s true that “רַבּוֹת מַחֲשָׁבוֹת בְּלֶב אִישׁ וַעֲצַת ה’ הִיא תָקוּם - many designs are in a person’s heart but it is GOD’s plan that is accomplished” (Mishlei 19:21). All I can do is try my best to make each day count, to appreciate the blessing of each day and year that Hashem gives me, and to invite others to walk with me along the way.