A Flood of Support

I am not a person who likes to ask for or receive help. I guess maybe it makes me feel weak or in debt. In fact, the Hebrew word for thanks, Todah, shares the same root as the word Modeh, admit, because when we thank someone we are in a sense acknowledging that we needed them and couldn't do it alone.

I used to think it was funny that in Hebrew when someone thanks you the way to say you're welcome is B'vakasha, please. Why would we say please when we mean to say you're welcome? At 1st I thought it was a macho Israeli thing, as if to say, "What? You want to make a big deal and thank me! Please! It was a piece of cake for me! It was nothing!" But the truth is, what I think we are saying is something more like "please don't hesitate to ask again. It is a pleasure and honor to help you. You are welcome to ask any time."

Either way, I suspect I am not the only one who prefers not to be on the receiving end. In fact, our Rabbi here in Houston, Rabbi Barry Gelman, focused his Drasha this week on the fact that while often Rabbis try to convince others to give, this week he wanted to convince those in need to take. Not to be too prideful, or afraid to impose.

This past week has been like a movie. The toll the damage took, both physical and emotional, on so many people is hard to comprehend. But the most amazing and unbelievable thing about this week, even more than the flood of water that engulfed our neighborhood, has been the flood of support and love from so many, near and far, loved ones and strangers.

The community immediately mobilized into action, even before the waters had receded. People were rescued from their homes. Families were taken in with no check out date in sight. Meals have been coordinated non-stop in what remains of our shul. Friends have rolled up their sleeves to help salvage what could be salvaged, shlep out what could not, and pack and move everything that remained. Cars have been loaned. Play dates have been arranged. Snacks and meals for children whose homes flooded were provided for them at school. Strangers walk the streets with their children dragging red wagons full of water, coffee, and snacks. People keep bringing by cleaning supplies, boxes, and food. Our laundry has been taken to homes all over the community to wash and cleanse. Gift cards have been dropped off which, when opened, leave one in tears. Emails are going out daily with the latest helpful info. So many of our High School students were either affected directly by the flood or spending 6 hour shifts helping neighbors, that the school offered them a choice to either take their Final Exams this week or perform flood relief work instead (needless to say most chose the Chesed option). Yeshiva University has sent down students to help. Many people have spent hours working in the shul, which was completely flooded as well.

There were so many people coming into the house to help that at one point on Friday I left the house and went around to neighbors for an hour trying to help them a little bit (and in the process met some lovely people I had never met before). I just could not keep saying thank you and not giving back a little as well.

This is what community is all about. We support each other and are there for each other, in good times and bad. [We even celebrated a beautiful Bar Mitzva in shul this past Shabbat of a very special family whose son is coincidentally named Noah!] It is both inspiring and demanding at the same time. The more others are doing for us the more we want to pay it forward and give to others.

Which brings me, finally, to the Go Fund Me page started on our behalf by our family. I am in tears when I see how much money has been raised to help us get back on our feet. I figured maybe a few friends might contribute $18 each or something. I just cannot believe that so many people have given (149 at last count) and that they have been so generous. It is touching to see names of people from all parts of our past who still care about us and want to help. It's so thoughtful that many people have even shared the link on their page and written such kind things about us. It is amazing that some of the people giving we do not even know, but they are friends of friends who want to do a good deed.

There is still a big part of me that feels embarrassed to ask for or to accept support from others. I don't know if I will ever get past that. Please will always be a hard word for me. But I will never feel uncomfortable saying Thank You. It is incredibly humbling and uplifting to receive so much support from so many and there are not enough words to describe our gratitude. We will always remember this incredible feeling of security knowing that there are so many ready to catch us if we fall. And we will try to do the same for others in their times of need. I may not like asking B'vakasha, but I will absolutely say it in the sense of "please know that should you ever need a hand from us we will be honored to do what we can for you as you have done for us."