This past summer our family went on an amazing road trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles, stopping along the way in several National Parks including: John Muir, Yosemite, King’s Canyon, and Sequoia. This year is the 100th anniversary of the National Park system and we figured this would be the year to go. It was really an amazing trip with memories that will last a lifetime. But sitting here during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva, the Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, I can’t help but reflect on some of the life lessons I hope my kids learned on this trip. I think they are very relevant to anyone trying to grow or achieve a goal:
1) Planning - If you really want to do something amazing you have to plan ahead (Pirkei Avot Chapter 4: “Eizehu Chacham Haroeh et Hanolad - The wise person thinks ahead”). Yes, there is a certain romance or excitement in doing something spontaneous. But when you think about the goals and aspirations that really matter to you they usually require strategy and time. It is one thing to say to yourself “this year I really want to ____________.” It is a lot harder to then sit down and create SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Based. I learned this when trying to plan this two week trip which involved travel, hotels, food, Shabbat plans, and a daily itinerary. In the end the biggest challenge wasn’t even finding kosher food in Yosemite, but finding a place to stay there. Evidently you have to book a year in advance or the lodges sell out. And that bring me to lesson two...
2) Persistence - When I called to book lodging and was told about the need to book a year in advance I had two choices: postpone this trip for a year and go to Plan B, or hold on to my dream and not give up. So each day after work, for about 2 months, I came home and called Yosemite again to see if there had been any cancellations. And sure enough, I was able to book one night, then another, and finally a 3rd night. We had to be a little flexible and take one night in a tent cabin (much more fun than it sounds!). But by not giving up we were able to achieve our goal. If something really matters to you don’t make excuses but rather find a way to get it done.
3) Pave Your Own Trail - We did a lot of walking and hiking during these two weeks. Aside from the great exercise, it allowed us to see so many beautiful things: waterfalls, wildlife, trees, mountains…. Actually, one of the coolest walking days we did was in San Francisco itself. We had never been there before, so on the 1st day we did the typical touristy double decker bus tour of the city, which was very nice. But on the 2nd day we signed up for an Urban Adventure Quest, which are these amazing scavenger hunts you can sign up for and do as a family by answering clues on your phone that take you from clue to clue throughout the city. They have them in many cities across the country and we have done several of them. I highly recommend them (www.urbanadventurequest.com). In San Francisco the Quest took us to parts of the city we would never have known about and it was a really fun way to experience San Francisco.
4) Pace Yourself - One of the mistakes we sometimes make is trying to do too much too quickly. We feel inspired and make big plans but if we do not pace ourselves we are likely to burn out and give up. It’s like the kid in the mall who wants to go up the down escalator for fun. If he sprints up he might run out of steam and then be brought all the way back down. He needs to go up just a little bit faster than the escalator is going down if he wants to reach the top. We learned this the hard way on the day we hiked the Mist Trail in Yosemite. It was a beautiful hike up to a misty waterfall and we had a great time. But when we reached the top after two hours we had a choice to make: do we turn back down those narrow, slippery, crowded stone steps? Or do we hike higher up and then around back down the famous John Muir Trail? Well, hiking the JMT has been a dream of mine for a while, so the choice was easy. Little did we know, however, that this would add about an hour to our hike. And we had very little water. Well, long story short, some nice people shared their water with us, and we took our time going down the switchbacks (paths going back and forth down the mountain because going straight down would have been too steep) until finally reconnecting with the Mist Trail down the mountain. All in all the hike took us about 5 hours and we were exhausted by the end. And let me tell you, those switchbacks were endless and annoying, but we made it and will never forget that day. Which brings me to the next lesson…
5) Patience - Sometimes getting there takes longer than we thought it would (by the 20th switchback we were doubting if we would ever get back down) and despair can set in. But you just have to keep your focus on the goal and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And sometimes there are ups and downs but you have to ride them out. Very often during this road trip the road would climb 3 miles in elevation, then go back down 2 miles, only to go up another 3. But the view is always worth it at the end. We even saw this in the beautiful and flat Napa valley where we visited a kosher winery one day. When we asked if we could pick a grape from the vine to taste it we were told that at this stage in the grape’s development it still tastes very bitter. It takes a long time, but eventually it produces a delicious wine. You just have to give it time to develop. I think this is true for ourselves but also for the way we relate to others. Sometimes we just need to be a little more patient and let the people around us develop and grow into their potential.
6) Peace - One of the moments of this trip we will never forget was coming face to face with a back bear right on the Mist Trail. Along with a few other hikers we tried to get a closer look but suddenly the bear climbed right in front of us in the path (at which point we all backed away nervously). The bear looked around and decided to continue climbing up the side of the mountain, but it took us a few minutes to catch our breath. One of the things they tell you in Yosemite is never to surround a bear because if it has no place to go it will feel threatened and then it could attack. To me this teaches that in order to avoid confrontation with others we should always allow the other person a dignified way out. We can and should talk out issues and try to build shalom bayit, but always in a way that does not seem threatening or attacking.
7) Padlocks - Since I mentioned the bear let me also talk about Bear Boxes. Throughout the park we were told not to leave any food or anything else with a scent (ex. toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant…) in our cars or bags because it would attract bears. Instead they assigned each family a bear box in which to store our food. This got me thinking about deciding which things are really important to us. If you had only a limited space to save the things that are most important to you what would you save and why? If you had only a limited time to spend who would you spend it with and what would you do? What things in our lives are most central to who we are and give us the most meaning? Which aspects of our lives would we guard with a padlock?
8) Paddle - One day we went rafting as a family down the Merced River which runs through Yosemite. At one point I lost my paddle and then fell out of the boat trying to retrieve it, which was very amusing to my kids. But here lies another lesson for Yom Kippur and for life. We all need a paddle to navigate our way through life. We need a guidance system, a way to steer ourselves towards our goals, rather than just letting the currents of time take us where they may. So many people feel like they are stuck in their jobs and in their routines. But with a paddle you are in control and you decide your fate. As Jews, we are fortunate to have the greatest navigation system of all, the Torah. It is there to guide us and help us live lives of meaning.
9) Perspective - Sometimes, looking at something from another perspective helps us appreciate it more. We took a trip up to Glacier Point, which is the huge rock overlooking Yosemite Valley. From the bottom it hovers over the valley with imposing strength and height. But from the top it affords views of the the entire valley. The huge waterfalls that we saw in the valley look like water coming out of the sink from this perspective. And it reminds me that changing one’s vantage point helps us see things differently and understand them better. Maybe this is the meaning behind the Talmud’s teaching that changing your location (shinuy makom) can help accomplish Teshuva. We saw this as well back in San Francisco when we drove north of the city to the top of Mount Tamalpais. From the top of the mountain we were higher than the clouds and could see for miles in every direction. And while there were so many great views during this trip, my favorite might have been Moro Rock in Sequoia National Park. A good 15 minute climb up a stairway built into the cliff leads up to a narrow stretch of rock from which you can see forever. It reminds me that hard work pays off in the end, and that while it is always important to pay attention to details, sometimes seeing the big picture is priceless.
10) Power - One last “P” lesson. After Yosemite we drove south for 3 hours to see the biggest trees in the world at Sequoia National Park. I cannot really describe the feeling of standing next to trees that are the size of tall buildings. You have to experience that for yourself. But it definitely made me feel humble, which is never a bad things. We live in an amazing world, full of beauty and majesty. On the one hand we should remember that the world does not revolve around us. We are but one part of an incredible universe. On the other hand, we should not forget that we too have the potential to be giant Sequoias, and that Hashem wants us to reach for the sky as well. As long as we have a strong root system (our faith) there is no limit to how much we can grow.
